Chapter 3 Part 3

4) Guilt

“…I will lift your skirts over your face, I will show the nations
your nakedness, And the kingdoms your shame.
Nahum 3:5

I have always been amazed how a victim less sin like fornication can make us feel so guilty. We avoid family and friends’ pretending it is not effecting us. Even though the stigma of fornication and the fruit of it are non-existent today, because “everyone is doing it”, there is always guilt. This guilt leads to other sins, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, gluttony, and greed. It used to be that a woman would be embarrassed not to be a virgin when she got married, now it is just the opposite. Moreover, it is happening at an earlier stage in the lives of our children than ever before. Our community is a community of babies having babies with impunity. As if this were the natural way to live. Again, love the sinner but we have to hate the sin. Make no mistake if we continue in sin, God will confront us about it. Despite the teachings of many modern churches, God does not take sin lightly. In bringing our sin to our attention, we get shame and guilt. In addition, it is not only the participants, but also again the fruit of these illicit affairs. The problem is as this becomes more and more the norm, the stigma is disappearing. This creates a problem; we become comfortable in our sin. God cannot and will not allow that. What happens then is that our minds and consciences become perverted. We begin to think that God no longer cares about our sin. That God has changed His mind about sin. Make no mistake about it the Bible says the following:

“Jesus Christ, the same yesterday,
and today, and forever.”
Hebrews 13:8

Sin will always be important to God. Remember, He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins. I would say that it is pretty important. The apostle Paul says, “Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid! If we are truly born again with the in dwelling of the Holy Spirit we should be displaying it in our lives. There should be an outcry that we are not hearing. We should be holding telethons and having pledge drives to alleviate this problem, but we have had none. Is it that those who claim to be born again Christians do not have the Spirit of God in them? Sex when at the right time and place produces joy, but at the wrong place and time, it produces guilt and pain.

5) Sexual diseases

“When any man has a discharge from his
body, his discharge is unclean.”
Leviticus 15:2

Due to our insistence on putting our own selfish sexual pleasure before God’s law, we have ushered in a new level of sexually transmitted diseases or STDs as they are commonly referred to. Not only are we still battling the age old syphilis, gonorrhea, and etc., we now have deadlier strains of newer diseases. Just as we as parents provide our children with rules designed to protect them, so does our heavenly Father do the same for us. Multiple sex partners breed germs and disease. Some would point to the AIDs epidemic as a curse from God or the like; I do not know, God has not given me that revelation. I do know that as the number of sexual partners increases so does the chances of contracting an infection. Any sexually active person can be infected with Chlamydia. The greater the number of sex partners, the greater the risk of infection. We continue to play Russian roulette with our lives. As the diseases get deadlier, so we must become more vigilant in our behavior. The days of just going to the clinic and taking a pill or getting a shot are over. Today, being with the wrong sexual partner could cost you your life. I have yet to find a sexual partner that was worth losing my life over. Is a momentary sexual pleasure worth your life? As the medical professionals develop a drug or treatment to combat one form of sexual disease, another more deadly strain appears. As the diseases, become immune to the previous form of treatment. We should be willing to set aside our selfish desires to obey the word of God. When we continue to ignore the health risks associated with reckless sexual behavior, we not only thumb our noses to God, but also to our own personal health. We should not continue to keep the false belief that science will continue to develop new strategies to overcome our foolish behavior. There must come a time when we begin to take responsibility for our actions. With every action there is a consequence, are you willing to accept it? We should not and cannot continue to ignore the high cost to our health of reckless sexual adventures. The stakes are much too high. Almost daily, we hear or read about some new deadlier strain of disease or infection. Nature will not allow us to carry on this way. If we do not begin to change this reckless behavior the results will be catastrophic.

Chapter 3 Part 2

2) Violation of God’s law

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship
with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants
to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”
James 4:4

The Bible says that those who practice sexual immorality are at war with God. Those who practice such are friends of the world, but not friends of God. God’s laws according to the Bible were given to serve two purposes. The first was to protect us from the world and from ourselves. The second reason was to drive us to Him. Because of God’s never ending love for us, He has always wanted the best for us. We believe that we know better than God what is best for us, but time and again, we choose the wrong thing. How many times do we say I have to have this thing or that person only to later regret choosing it. We do not know what is best for ourselves. God has the ability to know the future, to know what I am going to need and to provide it. In our modern society we have lost our fear of God. The psalmist’s tells us that there is no fear of God before their eyes. To violate God’s laws means nothing to us. However, the Bible tells us that God will not be mocked, whatever a man sows that he will also reap. God tells us that the guilty will not go unpunished. How long will we continue to ignore God’s laws? We ourselves cannot keep God’s laws. If it were possible, there would have been no reason for the death of Christ. However, when I surrender to God I am given the power to overcome sin. The Bible says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That means all things! That includes stopping our fornication and all other sins I may be committing. If God has the power to create the heavens and the earth and raise the dead, does He not also have the power to stop me from sinning? I do not have the power within myself to obey God’s laws. I never have and I never will on my own power. I must submit to God before I am able even to begin to overcome sin. I must get back under the authority of God.

3) Illegitimate children

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and
the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise
your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”

1 Corinthians 7:14

According to the Bible, children born out of wedlock are unclean. I know it sounds harsh, but that is what it says. For too long now we have been sugar coating the Word of God. It is time to get real and to get serious about God and His Word. Our future and our very souls depend on it. We are placing the shame of our sin on our children. It is amazing how we try to cover it up with these clever names: baby’s momma or baby’s daddy. No, you are both harlots! You are sinners and you need to repent today! It is even more amazing how so few of our “so called” religious leaders are speaking out on this epidemic. We should remove this obstacle and stop this now. We must break the cycle. It is only getting worse, as it always does. There is no reason why our young women are having multiple illegitimate children. What are we as parents, as a community, and as religious leaders doing to stem this problem? We should begin to ask ourselves some tough questions as a people. Why are we allowing this to go on unchecked? In addition, it is not just the impoverished, but young men and women with college degrees from middle class, upper middle class backgrounds. What does this say about us as a people? Where is our moral fiber? We have to do better. We can do better when we surrender our will to God’s will. Instead of treating these women as victims and martyrs, we need to acknowledge the fact of their sinfulness. If we continue to do what we know is sin, then we are practicing sin. Practicing sin is like practicing anything else, the more we practice the better we get. We all sin, but we all do not practice sin. Sin should not be something we want to get good at. Why do we practice anything? To get better at it of course. When I was a child and wanted to become a better basketball player, I would practice and eventually I got pretty good. So even a child knows what the purpose of practice is. Do I want to do that with sin?

Chapter 3 Part 1 Why Is Fornication So Bad?

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does
is outside the body, but he who commits sexual
immorality sins against his own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18

According to the bible fornication causes us to sin against ourselves, against our own bodies. It opens our bodies to the very nature of sin. It allows demons to use our bodies against themselves. It also brings the contamination of sin into our bodies; sexual sin opens our bodies up to the disease of sin like nothing else. It causes us to view our bodies with contempt, instead of the temples of God that they were created to be. When we are going against our own bodies this can only breed contempt. We are at war with ourselves. My own body is being used against me, against my will. The bible says that a house divided against itself will not stand. How can I stand for God when my body is divided against itself? The bible goes on to say that our bodies are no longer our own, they have been purchased for a price. They now belong to God. Of course in truth they were always God’s. My body houses the Holy Spirit of God.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you
have from God, and you are not your own.”
1 Corinthians 6:19

The apostle Paul goes on to state that our bodies are members of Christ and shall we join the members of Christ with a harlot? Certainly not! Are we to unite the Spirit of God to perversion? God forbid! Fornication reduces my status as a person in my own mind. I lose respect for myself, my body, and the other person when I fornicate. You profane the temple of the Holy Spirit. Your body becomes a toll against itself. Many times I have awaken in the morning laying next to someone I didn’t even know and felt perverted. What do I say to this person I do not know? It all felt so awkward on a deep spiritual level. Yet we just shared the most intimate moment two people can share according to God. There is something wrong here, my thinking is not right. We have taken something good and honorable and have turned it into something cheap and tawdry. There is no love without commitment. Without love, the sex act is just a common act between two beasts in the field. However, even the beasts of the field take care of their offspring. Animals after procreating, at least raise their young. Are our young any less important? God thinks not.

Let’s look at the cost of fornication on our people and society.
1) Loss of innocence and purity
2) Violation of God’s law
3) Illegitimate children
4) Guilt
5) Sexual diseases
6) Lack of respect
7) Deterioration of society
8) Violence
9) Loss of usefulness to God
10) Anger of the children

1) Loss of innocence and purity

“To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled
and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their minds and
a conscience are defiled.”
Titus 1:15

It is God’s plan that we come to our marriages pure in body and heart. In God’s healthy plan of marriage and relationships being pure is highly valued. According to the bible, any woman who married and was found not to be a virgin would be stoned. The woman is the vessel by which life comes into this world. How are things brought into this world? They are borne into it. In order for Jesus to be fully human, He had to be borne into this world, thus the need for Mary. Therefore, it is for all things. A woman’s body is one of her most precious gifts. Only a woman in natural sexual activity is penetrated, this gives the woman a very different perspective on the sexual act. For a man the act of sex is external due to his organs and thus his attitude towards sex reflects that. A woman due to her physical organs is usually more conservative concerning sexual matters than men. Women usually require an emotional connection for sexual activity. Because of the emotional nature of the sex act to a woman, it tends to have more meaning. Women tend to have more of an attachment to their partner than men do. I remember every female virgin I ever “deflowered” had a deeply emotional attachment unlike any other of the women I was with. In some cases, that attachment may even persist to this day. Losing that purity and innocence can have a lifetime effect for not only the woman, but also the man. We live in a society that only promotes the pleasure of sex without the commitment of love and marriage. Our moral standards have been compromised.

Chapter 2 Part 4

Finally, there is the humiliation of sin. We talk about our “values” and yet we receive humiliation at home and abroad. We talk about exporting our values, the world doesn’t want them, and we wonder why. What’s wrong with them? They see our hypocrisy. How we lay claim to things that we do not have or believe in. How we attempt to promote our policies at the end of a gun. Sin brings humiliation to the individual, as well as to a nation. We try to hide it, but guilt and humiliation follows every sin. Initially, we cannot look people in the eye because of our sins, but as we continue to practice them there develops a comfort in them. We learn how to ignore the pain and humiliation. The only problem is that they do not go away, they manifest themselves in other areas of our lives. In how we view ourselves and others, from a shame based perspective. As we become more comfortable in our sins, we become more embolden to commit other more serious sins. But there is One who can remove all these epidemics. That One is God, may you come to Him now.

“Since the days of our forefathers to this day we have been very guilty,
and for our iniquities we, our kings and our priests have been
delivered into the hand of the king of the lands, to the sword,
to captivity, to plunder, and to humiliation, as it is this day.”
Ezra 9:7

It is unfathomable to me that the black church for the most part has been silent on this most important issue. It’s like the church has followed the lead of society, instead of leading society. The bible says that we must come out from among the worldly. Jesus said, “We are the salt of the earth, but what good is salt if it has lost its flavor?” It is no longer good for anything. So much of the modern church is about not offending anyone, except we are offending God. It’s getting so you can’t tell the sinners from the saints. It’s like if I were to go hang out in a nightclub drinking and slapping women on the butt saying, “God bless you sister”. Who would take me seriously as a Christian? But this is exactly what we do. And wonder why we don’t have any impact on the world for God. Why our sons and daughters continue to fornicate and have illegitimate children. Where is the leadership of the church? Where is the outcry of the church saints? You know what happens is that anyone that does speak out on this and other spiritual issues gets attacked by the church people, instead of praised. The bible says that, “they loved the praise of men, more that the praise of God.” In an effort to keep the membership rolls and tithes coming in, the church has ignored God’s word. And we as believers go from church to church looking for a brand of religion that will allow us to continue sinning without anyone making us feel uncomfortable. Jesus said following Him would be uncomfortable.

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross daily and follow me”.
Luke 9:23

So in order to follow our example from God we should deny ourselves and our fleshly desires. We should take up our cross daily, that doesn’t sound comfortable to me. Instead of the black church preaching the kingdom of God, they are preaching the ministry of prosperity. This is in direct opposition to the teachings of Christ. For years, I have been waiting for a groundswell of condemnation of this epidemic of fornication gripping our community. There has been none forthcoming. We continue to turn a blind eye to this issue, not realizing that this issue is the source of so many other problems we face as a community. Rather than look at the true cause of the problem we look at the symptoms. Looking at the true cause of the problem is much more difficult for it requires us to look at ourselves. We cannot continue down this path, for we know what awaits us. It is as if we are all sitting in an airplane that is about to crash and everyone knows it and no one is saying a word. There is no outcry. We are pretending that everything is fine. I am here to tell you it is not all fine, the plane is crashing! The devil wants you to sit there and ignore it, but I can no longer do so. Wake up! Instead of God being your co-pilot, He needs to be your pilot.

Chapter 2 Part 3

Another epidemic caused by fornication is the abortion epidemic. This is becoming for some women a form of birth control. In the same sense that we have multiple illegitimate children, we have women having multiple abortions. How many times must I make the same mistake? It is an affluent answer to the results of fornication, the unwanted child. So rather, than stop the fornication, we will just kill the results. Well, I’m here to tell you the results are human lives that we are killing. God’s word says He knew us before we were formed in the womb. To me that says that I was a life before my being conceived in the sexual act. I do not condone blowing up abortion clinics or the like, but I do think that abortion is wrong. Because God gives us each free will to choose, I do not have the right to choose what is right or wrong for anyone else’s body. When the day of judgment comes we will appear before God alone . There will be no witnesses. I will stand or fall on my own actions.

Another epidemic of fornication is distance from God. The bible says that my sin separates me from God. God and sin can not be in the same place. As soon as Adam and Eve sinned, they had to be removed from the presence of God. Every year we have polls stating that over 90% of Americans believe in the existence of God. With all of our mega churches and religious polls we still lead the world in pornography, drug and alcohol addiction, percentage of population in prison, and abortions. How can this be? We have substituted a false religiousness in place of Godliness. The bible states that we will forget true holiness and replace it with our own perverted holiness. The bible states that all my righteousness is as filthy rags to God. With every passing day we are moving further and further from God. I am not talking about the public displays of religion that the false religious people love to tout. Placing the ten commandments on public display and making school children recite prayer in public schools. Would these things help our society? Maybe, but what would help more is our following these things privately, before we attempt to take them public. These things are just to make us feel like we are following God. God says don’t display them, follow them. Don’t pray in school, pray in your home in the closet. The bible says we are to publicly pronounce God, but privately we deny Him by our actions. If we did more praying at home and less in the public eye, we might make some progress in this war we fight.

“But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your
sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear you.”
Isaiah 59:2

“They profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being
abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.”
Titus 1:16

Chapter 2 Part 2

How many times have we seen movie stars, athletes, and other worldly entertainers leave the wives of their youths for the newest flavor of the month? We have to understand that our children see this unhealthy behavior and incorporate it for themselves. They think that it is ok to exchange women as if they were video games. The average marriage today lasts about seven years. That is of course out of those who even bother to get married. About fifty percent of all blacks from 24 – 44 are living in cohabitation arrangements and not marriage. Is it because marriage has changed? I don’t think so. It is because we have become a disposable society. If it is not making me happy, replace it. The bible talks often about joy and rarely about happiness. Why? Because happiness is a passing emotion. If I catch the light on my way to work I am happy, if I do not I am not happy. God says have joy, not happiness. Happiness is transient, but joy is eternal. In spite of our circumstances, we can have joy, not because of them.

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5

God wants us to have joy in His blessings not to pervert them.


“Therefore put to death your members which are on
the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion,
evil desires, and covetousness which is idolatry.”
Colossians 3:5

“..you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.
For I, the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and
forth generations of those who hate me.”
Exodus 20:5

The bible teaches that those who pursue idolatry (fornication) provoke God’s wrath because they are elevating something before God. God states over and over that He is a jealous God and will not tolerate anything that is placed before Him. We become preoccupied with our own selfish pleasure and ignore the long-term damage we do to ourselves. Idolatry may be strong language for some people, but we should look closely at what fornication says about those who practice it.

Today we are beginning to see the results of this epidemic of fornication. Instead of placing God’s laws and righteousness at the head of our lives, we have chosen our own selfish pleasure. This has created multiple victims from an act that is supposed to be victimless. How can this be you ask? Unfortunately, most practioners of fornication do not practice protected sex so we have an epidemic of new and more deadly strains of sexually transmitted diseases. We have an epidemic of illegitimate children. The term illegitimate is not even used anymore. We have replaced it with this new terminology of “baby’s momma” or “baby’s daddy. We treat illegitimacy as legitimacy. The bible says beware when you call evil good and good evil. I am not advocating ignoring or even punishing the fruit of these illicit relationships. I am saying love the sinner, but hate the sin. We should learn to hate sin the way God hates sin. He hated sin so much that only the sacrifice of His own Son could satisfy His disdain for sin. Today in our churches in an effort to keep or to gain members, we ignore this issue. Ministers do not speak out on it and so in keeping silent they are practicing sin by omission. Giving this lifestyle a green light. I have seen pastors having ceremonies to anoint these children. Again, we should love these innocent children, but acknowledge the wrong being done. Before forgiveness, is confession of sin. In most cases it is children having children. Everyone makes mistakes, but if I am a pastor with a congregation full of women that continue to have illegitimate children, maybe my message is not being made clear enough.

Chapter 2 Part 1 What Does God Say About It

What Does God Say About It


“Marriage is honorable for all, and the bed undefiled;
but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”.
Hebrews 13:4

It is God’s wish that those who cannot refrain from sex be at least married. That it is honorable and good. According to God there is no free sex or sex between consenting adults without commitment and marriage. Whenever two people have sex, the bible says that they become one flesh. I give her a part of myself and she gives me a part of herself. I think back on all the times I attempted to have “free sex” and afterwards there was always the desire to have more from one party or the other. There were always complications. In addition, do not let it have been good. I do not know how many of my affairs began as “casual sex”. I dare to venture that a great many marriages have been based on this same attitude. The terms “free sex”, “casual sex”, and “uncommitted sex” are not apart of God’s healthy plan for sexual pleasure for our lives. The laws of God were never designed to punish us, but to protect us. God’s laws concerning sexual misconduct were designed to prevent the spreading of disease, to promote the harmony and stability of the family, and the society as a whole. We have perverted the natural use of our bodies and the lovingkindness of God’s laws. We have elevated our own selfish pleasure over the authority of God. We know better than God what is best for us. So then, are we still under the laws of God? Some may argue we are under grace and not bound by the law. Some would say that God gave us sex to enjoy and that we do not have to follow those antiquated laws. Some would argue that since we no longer sacrifice animals those old rules do not apply. Let us see what Jesus Christ says.

“Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets.
I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.”
Matthew 5:17

Paul states that even though we are under grace we are still not to be fornicators or have sexual immorality. That it is in fact the will of God not to be partakers of such behavior, nor are we to hang out with such people. God desires that we pursue holiness. God calls us to avoid fornication. It is only by submitting and surrendering to God that we are able to overcome sin. The bible says that fornicators will have no inheritance in the kingdom of God. God takes fornication very seriously for a number of reasons that we will discuss in the next chapter.

“because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’”
1 Peter 1:16

“For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person,
nor covetous Man, who is an idolater, has any
inheritance in the kingdom Of Christ and God.”
Ephesians 5:5

Fornication replaces God’s healthy sexual plan for our lives with our own selfish unhealthy plan. I do not want anyone to think that I am advocating that we should not enjoy the God given pleasures of a healthy sexual relationship in God’s plan. God gave us this pleasure for a reason. If it were not there, I believe that men would stick with men and women would stick with women. I say this not in any sexual sense, but in a purely common sense way. Let us face it we do not share a lot in common. The things that men like to do most women do not and vice-versa. If we are honest with each other there are very few things, we enjoy together. This is not to say that there are not a lot of loving and caring male/female relationships where they share common interests, but as a whole men enjoy the company of men and women the company of women. It is not a right or wrong or good or bad thing, but merely a fact of nature. The way things are. If it were not for the “spark that God has given us for each other, I would venture to say that we would not have been as fruitful and multiplied to the place we are today. In the bible, God says He will put enmity between the male and female. However, by His grace and tender mercy, He has also left that attraction between us. That in spite of our seemingly total lack of commonality, we can still come together and procreate. If you think about it, it is amazing there are still people on the earth. The truth be told we are from two different worlds it seems at times. The point being that God wants us to enjoy our sexuality in a healthy and positive way. The problem with fornication is that it perverts God’s healthy plan. The bible says be content with the wife of your youth. With fornication, I not only do not have a wife of my youth, I am not content with any woman I am with. I lay down with multiple partners and have no commitment to anyone.

Chapter 1 Part 2

Fornication as defined by the Bible has created an atmosphere in our society that has caused many to lose respect for each other as the temples of the Holy Spirit. As I will discuss later, many people no longer value others as more than objects to be used for personal gratification. They believe that everything on this earth was placed here for their pleasure only. Fornication by its very nature reduces our essences to there most base level, the seeking of selfish pleasure despite the cost. Some have even convinced themselves that there are no costs. Fornication elevates our physical wants over our spiritual needs. My desire to be with someone is not about being of benefit to them (spiritual) it is about what can I get from this encounter for my benefit (physical). We are called to want the best for each other and to be willing to sacrifice our wants and desires for those of others. How can I claim to love a woman and yet not be concerned with the condition of her spiritual eternity? On the other hand, do I only love her physical body and the pleasure that I can derive from it at the cost of her spirit?

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful;
all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.
Let no one seek his own, but each others well-being.”
1 Corinthians 10:23-24

When we begin to lose value as humans to one another, we open a Pandora’s Box that includes all manner of human cruelty. If we look at our human history and our recent past, whenever one race values itself more human than another, genocide is not far behind. Fornication sets in motion this process on an individual basis. Its funny but the things that we look to alleviate with fornication (loneliness, low self-esteem) are the very things that we create by doing it.

“Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her
to be a whore; lest the land fall into whoredom,
and the land become full of wickedness.”
Leviticus 19:29

Fornication brings wickedness to the land by replacing God-given joy with man-driven pleasure. It replaces committed love with apathetic, disinterested selfishness. In many cases, those practicing fornication espouse love for one another, but it rings hollow if there is no concern for another’s honor and eternal life. I may not care if I get to see God, but how can I say I love you and not want you to see God? With fornication, it is no longer about the other person (they can be anyone) it is about someone getting what they want. It does not matter if you are married, engaged, or with someone, it only matters that my wants are being met. It is amazing how even those who practice these things recognize the state the world would be in if everyone did what they did. I have never heard of many people advocating this behavior for family members or others.

Chapter 1 What is Fornication?

CHAPTER 1

What Is Fornication?


The Greek word translated "sexual immorality" is porneia. The Hebrew word for fornication is “zanah”. It is used to describe many forms of sexual misconduct. The term fornication is also used to encompass many types of unhealthy sexual relationships outside of marriage. It can include premarital sexual relationships, homosexual acts, incest, prostitution, lust, rape, and bestiality. It can also be used in a metaphoric sense in the Bible to mean a forsaking of God.

The Princeton wordnet internet dictionary defines fornication as voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married. It also includes adultery in its definition as extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations.

"If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her,
he shall surely pay the bride price for her to be his wife."
Exodus 22:16

The Bible says that when a man takes (has sex with) a virgin he has to pay a price and marry her. Moreover, he cannot divorce her for as long as he lives. The Bible says that he has “humbled” her. In other words, he has humiliated her and caused her to feel shame. How many of our young women today feel “humiliated” by their virginity being taken? The family and the bridegroom were supposed to present the bride as pure before God and the community. When she has been violated, the violator has not only taken her honor but the honor of her family as well. These ideas may seem trivial in our modern day world, but they are still relevant. The reason they are relevant is that a man values purity even though he is the very one trying to defile it. We have many instances where men upon getting knowledge of a female loved one being violated cannot face the loved one. Most people believe that it is because he feels shame for the loved one, but actually, it is the opposite. The man feels ashamed because he could not protect the loved one; I speak from personal experience. Even in a lot of cases where the loved one was a willing participant many men still feel a sense of shame and blame the man for “enticing the female.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24

For the purpose of this book, we are going to use the definition of sexual relationships outside of marriage for fornication. As we see, indiscriminate sex was never God’s plan for us. God's Divine Plan throughout the scriptures has involved a man and a woman in matrimony. We see that from the beginning of time it was that way and continues to today. Some will say that times have changed. That was thousands of years ago. It does not matter; according to God; His Word always remains the same. Unlike our frequently changing society, God remains the same.

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My Words
will by no means pass away."
Matthew 24:35

Marriage was given to a man and a woman to raise a family. Nowhere is a family presented as a single male or female except in the case of death. A family in the sight of God has always been and always will be a male and a female parent raising children. Now does that mean God will not bless single parents? Of course not! However, we should remember it is we, who have perverted God's plan, not God changing His plans. There have been a number of outstanding single parent households, but let us understand this was not God's design. God has taken a bad situation and used it for His glory. However, make no mistake this in no way changes or modifies God original plan. We should not continue to believe that God will allow us to blatantly defy His revealed Word simply because it does not fit into our current lifestyles and mores. God was not created in our image, as many would have us to believe, we were created in His image. How can the clay dictate to the potter what vessel should be made? Does not the potter have power over the clay to create whatever He chooses with the clay?

I look forward to your comments...

First Post

The purpose of this blog is to bring light to a subject that has remained in the dark for too long. While fornication is a terrible sin that touches millions of lives the focus of this book is to address how it has affected the black community in particular. For a generation the men in our community have chosen not to be under the authority of God and to lie down with any and everyone they choose. The result has been a generation of angry young men who have no respect for himself or anyone else for that matter. They routinely kill each other violently and sell poison to their parents. They are angry because when they needed a male parent there was no one there and the ones who were there were spiritually absent, through selfishness and negligence.

I realize that by writing this blog that I am opening myself up to those people who have political agendas on both sides of the spectrum. They will want to kill the messenger rather than hear the message. My whole life will be scrutinized. I will be accused of being everything from a tool of the "Right Wing" to an "Uncle Tom" and everything in between. Let me say first that I am no one. I have no degree in anything from anywhere. All I am is a broken man whom God has chosen to deliver a message. I seek no fame or glory for myself, only that the living God be glorified and honored. There will be those that say this is a private matter that does not need to be aired publicly. In light of the good will, being given for the recent hurricane Katrina catastrophe many will wonder about the timing. To that, I say, "Who can know the mind of God?"

Nevertheless, this issue has needed a public airing for sometime. No one will be able to impeach my being able to speak on this subject, but some will try. I am a twice-divorced black male, with three kids, a drug addicted alcoholic with a felony. God could not have picked a more unlikely messenger. I know that I will be ridiculed and derided. I have prayed that this burden be lifted from me, but no one can stop God's Divine Plan. I know from experience that if I do not do what God wills he will replace me. What I am going to write is not what someone told me, but what I have seen and know from experience. What God has revealed to me through my life and the lives of those close to me. I began discussing this issue with black men in Atlanta in the year 2001, getting their stories and insights. At the time I was working with a homeless mission that dealt primarily with the drug addicted, alcoholic men that had deserted their families and children. But as I began to research this subject with other men I realized that it wasn't just a drug and alcohol problem, but men who were working and not addicted to any particular substance were also deserting women and children. This thing has reached epidemic proportions and needs to be addressed.

If I accomplish nothing else, my hope is that we will at least begin the discussion. I hope that you who read this blog will do so with an open mind and believe that I write it out of love for all those angry children. They deserve better from all of us. Let us go forth and heal this people and this land. We serve a merciful God.

"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins
and their lawless deeds I will remember no more"
Hebrews 8:12

If we turn to Him, he will be faithful and just to forgive us to forgive and cleanse us. I hope you are able to see past the messenger to the message. After all, isn't that what is truly important? If my words are true then let them stand, if they be false then let them fall. For the truth stands by itself and supports itself.

"You will know the truth and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32

It is my hope that someone may read these words and turn from their sinful ways. That someone may decide to break the cycle that has enslaved us for so many years.

"Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns
him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his
way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins."
James 5:19-20

I look forward to comments as we move forward with this discussion. I believe it is one of the most serious issues we face as a nation and as a people. I will be posting excerpts from a book that I have written and hope to get published soon. Thank you for reading and participating. I hope we can begin the dialog that will heal our people.