ReEngage, Inc.

As a direct result of my passion for those who have fallen prey to the sin of fornication and to those who believe that marriage is no longer relevant to God I have founded a non-profit organization entitled ReEngage, Inc. ReEngage, Inc. is an organization made up of concerned parents, educators, health professionals, clergy, and citizens who want to begin the process of repairing these broken relationships between not only fathers and their children but mothers and fathers. Our mission is to foster the reconnection of the absentee father with their children through outreach and counseling, education, and preparation.

Absentee fathers have become an American epidemic that reaches across racial, economic, and ethnic lines. We have irrefutable evidence that most of our other social problems in the black community stems from this phenomenon. Last year we set a record for births in America with 4.3 million, of those 4.3 million births 40% were to unmarried women. As we become a nation of more illegitimate births, separations, and divorces more and more of our children will face the real possibility of growing up without the financial, spiritual and emotional guidance of their fathers and this we must not allow to happen.

Let us be clear, the experiment of women raising children alone and the belief that fathers in the lives of their children is overrated has failed and failed miserably. The evidence is clear that children being raised by single mothers are not doing as well as children being raised by both parents.

Here are just a few examples of how horrific the results have been for our children.

* Children from fatherless homes are five times more likely to be poor, and ten times more likely to be extremely poor.

* Seventy percent of juveniles in reform school and long term prison inmates come from fatherless homes.

* Children from fatherless homes are twice as likely to be high school drop outs.

* Fatherless children have more emotional and behavioral problems.

* Girls from fatherless homes are three times as likely to be unwed teenage mothers. Adolescents in mother-only families are more likely to be sexually active, and daughters are more likely to become single-parent mothers.

* Boys from fatherless homes have a higher incidence of unemployment, incarceration, and noninvolvement with their own children.

* Seventy-one percent of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

* Seventy-five percent of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.

While these numbers appear as figures on a page they are actually people, primarily children who are suffering. We should begin to address the problems of crime, drug and alcohol abuse, educational failure, and teen pregnancy in a holistic way. For decades public policy has treated the black family as three separate entities. We have focused on the poor underprivileged children, the strong matriarchal black mothers, and the irresponsible black fathers. We must begin to reestablish and reappraise the role of fathers in the family structure. We should craft policies and strategies that treat the black family as a unit. We should direct our public policy to reinforce the institution of marriage and discontinue policies that reduces or diminishes the status of the father. Many of our policies have had the unintended consequences of rewarding behavior that is detrimental to the formation of families.

We must begin to reestablish and encourage the belief in marriage in the black community not purely for religious reasons, but for social and economic reasons as well. We cannot truly discuss the fatherless child without including a discussion on the state of marriage in the black community. As we begin to heal the relationships between the father and their children we must also begin to heal the relationship between male and female in the black community. Many women today view the role of the black male as that of surrogate parent, merely there to provide DNA for the creation of the child.

For decades we have become paralyzed by the argument of why we are in the state we are in. There are those who blame it on slavery, racism, and economics. While others say it is a moral or cultural issue. The time has come to stop focusing on the why and begin to focus on the what, as in what are we going to do about it? Regardless of whether the government or the larger society chooses to support our efforts the black community can no longer be excused for refusing to act. These are our children that are being deserted. I can’t tell you the times I have gone to meet with young black men and listened to their anger and their pain towards their fathers. They have every right to be angry you see when they were younger and needed a father to protect, support, and encourage them no one was there. Not only was there no one there but no one came and no one seemed to care.

Our mission is the following: To foster the reconnection of the black male with their children through outreach and counseling, education, and preparation.

We have the following goals:

1. Reduce the number of black children growing up in single mother households by reengaging the black male back into the family dynamics.

2. Educate black children to the consequences of having children without fathers and the benefits of marriage.

3. Work with established community and government entities to provide the needed services for these reengaged black fathers.

4. Provide counseling and support groups for emotionally damaged black fathers.

5. To prepare fathers for the reintegration process through parenting training, anger management, and ensuring their lifelong commitment in the child’s life. Our primary concern is the welfare of the child.

6. To provide mediation when possible between mothers and fathers to ensure the smooth integration of the father back into the child’s life.

7. Become a community clearinghouse for the qualified available research and programs designed to combat this epidemic.

8. Begin to utilize the steps created from the conference co-sponsored with area organizations and educators, clergy, and social service professionals.

We can no longer sit idly by while our children are being deprived and our nation is losing generation after generation of children. Black children just like all other children deserve and require a loving and caring relationship with their fathers, will you help us to make that day a reality for them.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Knowledge without action is worthless. To know something is wrong and to not act on that knowledge is the condemnation of man. God has made it clear to all of us what he requires. The choice however is ours, God will never impose His will on us. Every command of Jesus was couched in the statement of “if”. If you want eternal life, if you want to be healed, if you want to follow me, then here is what you do. God requires our cooperation in the healing process.[1] There are many of us who will only believe if God continues to provide signs. There are others who profess belief if they are able to continue doing the things they want. Lord, I will believe in You and worship You, if I can continue to gamble, chase women or men, and do what I want to do. God is not to be bargained with like some Bob Barker in the sky.

I know that there are many who need to receive this Word. If you have found this place, it is not by accident. Regardless of what brought you here, there is healing here. There is a Word for you here. I pray that you would pass this site on to others, that others may find the healing that we all so desperately need.

Fornication is killing us as a nation. We have lost our moral way and now we are stumbling along blindly being overtaken by all manner of sin. Our children have rebelled against us and against God. We are in a very dangerous place when the sons of men have lost their fear of God.[2] The many problems that beset us stem from our refusal to obey God. Obedience to God is not optional for Christians. We do not get to pick and choose what we will follow and when. We should no longer allow the world to dictate to the Church what is acceptable.

I am exploring having this book edited and published. If anyone would like to support me in this project, please email me. I will need financial support to get this project published. I would like to be able to get this Word out to our young people while there is still time. Can we count on you to support us in this effort to stop this epidemic? I want every young person in America to have a chance to read this and know that they have a choice. Our communities and our young people need you. Can they count on you? We have let them down so many times, let’s put them first for a change!

Rodney.Knott@gmail.com

[1] John 5:8
[2] Romans 3:10-18

Chapter 9, Part 9

The Word

“Now when the tempter came to Him, he said ‘If you are
the Son of God, command these stones become bread.’
But He answered and said, ‘It is written, Man shall
not live by bread alone, but by every word that
proceeds from the mouth of God.’”
Matthew 4:3,4

Our Lord demonstrates to us how we are to deal with temptation. When placed in a situation of temptation three times He dealt with it the same way every time. He used the Word of God. Throughout the scriptures the Word of God is described as a sword[1], but also as the Son of God.[2] There is power in the Word, the scriptures say that it lives as well. It is alive in the lives of believers. The hearing of the Word changes lives. Not the speakers eloquence or mastery of the language, but the Word itself. If you are a preacher and your skills as a speaker is the reason for your success, then you are in fact doing a disservice to your listeners and to the Kingdom. The Kingdom has and will never be about any one person, but about God. The Kingdom is not in word, but in the power of the Spirit.

Our first mistake when confronted with temptation is to try to use our intellect. We are going to outsmart the enemy. The enemy has been here since the beginning of time. How long have you been here? You are going to outsmart the devil who has been with God from early on, with your few years of knowledge. He is the one who taught you everything you know about sin. The Christ did not try to outsmart Satan with his intellect, even though he had all wisdom. He went immediately to the Word of God. Satan had no defense against the Word. When we find ourselves in a tempting situation, we should try to use the Word and we will witness how the devil will flee from us. We have not taught our children to use the power that God has given them, because we do not use it. God has placed all the tools we need to overcome any situation, the problem is we do not use them. We fall for the tricks of Satan to use out intellect. You will be like God. You do not need God’s help for this.

“Your Word I have hidden in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.”
Psalm 119:11

The psalmist talks about placing the word of God deep within his heart to prevent him from committing sin. The Word of God has that power to free us from the temptation of sin. The problem is that the majority of us, evangelicals included either do not know the Word or we do no use it. I cannot win a battle with what I do not have or do not use. Are you hiding the Word of God in your heart? How much time are you spending in the study of the Word. A fire extinguisher on the wall does me no good for a fire if I do not take it and use it. God gives me the tools, but if I do not use them who is at fault? What is the power of the Word? In the beginning God brought everything into existence by His Word, then God said.[3] And that Word was none other than the Christ.[4] The Word carries the power of God that has overcome all the forces of evil, even death. There have been countless incidents where believers were confronted by evil and just the simple invoking of God’s Word caused evil to flee.

If you want to stop fornicating, if you want to stay pure then learn and use the Word of God. We of ourselves do not have the power to overcome sin. That power was given to the Word and that Word is Christ. As long as we continue to rely on our own strength and abilities, we will lead defeated lives. Why do we continue to live like peasants when we are children of the Most High God? We continue to live defeated lives when we do not have to. We live defeated lives by choice. We choose not to use what God has freely given to us. The question then becomes do we really want to live victoriously and do we want victory for our brothers and sisters? Victory is not coming, victory is here! God said, “His Word will not come back to Him empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which it was sent.[5] That purpose is to free all those who are captive, to recover that which was lost.[6] Do not stay lost. Do not continue to live in spiritual rags when the Father has the robe of Christ to cover you with.

---

[1] Ephesians 6:17

[2] John 1:1

[3] Genesis 1:

[4] John 1:1

[5] Isaiah 55:11

[6] John 8:36

Chapter 3 Part 1 Why Is Fornication So Bad?

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does
is outside the body, but he who commits sexual
immorality sins against his own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18

According to the bible fornication causes us to sin against ourselves, against our own bodies. It opens our bodies to the very nature of sin. It allows demons to use our bodies against themselves. It also brings the contamination of sin into our bodies; sexual sin opens our bodies up to the disease of sin like nothing else. It causes us to view our bodies with contempt, instead of the temples of God that they were created to be. When we are going against our own bodies this can only breed contempt. We are at war with ourselves. My own body is being used against me, against my will. The bible says that a house divided against itself will not stand. How can I stand for God when my body is divided against itself? The bible goes on to say that our bodies are no longer our own, they have been purchased for a price. They now belong to God. Of course in truth they were always God’s. My body houses the Holy Spirit of God.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you
have from God, and you are not your own.”
1 Corinthians 6:19

The apostle Paul goes on to state that our bodies are members of Christ and shall we join the members of Christ with a harlot? Certainly not! Are we to unite the Spirit of God to perversion? God forbid! Fornication reduces my status as a person in my own mind. I lose respect for myself, my body, and the other person when I fornicate. You profane the temple of the Holy Spirit. Your body becomes a toll against itself. Many times I have awaken in the morning laying next to someone I didn’t even know and felt perverted. What do I say to this person I do not know? It all felt so awkward on a deep spiritual level. Yet we just shared the most intimate moment two people can share according to God. There is something wrong here, my thinking is not right. We have taken something good and honorable and have turned it into something cheap and tawdry. There is no love without commitment. Without love, the sex act is just a common act between two beasts in the field. However, even the beasts of the field take care of their offspring. Animals after procreating, at least raise their young. Are our young any less important? God thinks not.

Let’s look at the cost of fornication on our people and society.
1) Loss of innocence and purity
2) Violation of God’s law
3) Illegitimate children
4) Guilt
5) Sexual diseases
6) Lack of respect
7) Deterioration of society
8) Violence
9) Loss of usefulness to God
10) Anger of the children

1) Loss of innocence and purity

“To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled
and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their minds and
a conscience are defiled.”
Titus 1:15

It is God’s plan that we come to our marriages pure in body and heart. In God’s healthy plan of marriage and relationships being pure is highly valued. According to the bible, any woman who married and was found not to be a virgin would be stoned. The woman is the vessel by which life comes into this world. How are things brought into this world? They are borne into it. In order for Jesus to be fully human, He had to be borne into this world, thus the need for Mary. Therefore, it is for all things. A woman’s body is one of her most precious gifts. Only a woman in natural sexual activity is penetrated, this gives the woman a very different perspective on the sexual act. For a man the act of sex is external due to his organs and thus his attitude towards sex reflects that. A woman due to her physical organs is usually more conservative concerning sexual matters than men. Women usually require an emotional connection for sexual activity. Because of the emotional nature of the sex act to a woman, it tends to have more meaning. Women tend to have more of an attachment to their partner than men do. I remember every female virgin I ever “deflowered” had a deeply emotional attachment unlike any other of the women I was with. In some cases, that attachment may even persist to this day. Losing that purity and innocence can have a lifetime effect for not only the woman, but also the man. We live in a society that only promotes the pleasure of sex without the commitment of love and marriage. Our moral standards have been compromised.

Chapter 2 Part 4

Finally, there is the humiliation of sin. We talk about our “values” and yet we receive humiliation at home and abroad. We talk about exporting our values, the world doesn’t want them, and we wonder why. What’s wrong with them? They see our hypocrisy. How we lay claim to things that we do not have or believe in. How we attempt to promote our policies at the end of a gun. Sin brings humiliation to the individual, as well as to a nation. We try to hide it, but guilt and humiliation follows every sin. Initially, we cannot look people in the eye because of our sins, but as we continue to practice them there develops a comfort in them. We learn how to ignore the pain and humiliation. The only problem is that they do not go away, they manifest themselves in other areas of our lives. In how we view ourselves and others, from a shame based perspective. As we become more comfortable in our sins, we become more embolden to commit other more serious sins. But there is One who can remove all these epidemics. That One is God, may you come to Him now.

“Since the days of our forefathers to this day we have been very guilty,
and for our iniquities we, our kings and our priests have been
delivered into the hand of the king of the lands, to the sword,
to captivity, to plunder, and to humiliation, as it is this day.”
Ezra 9:7

It is unfathomable to me that the black church for the most part has been silent on this most important issue. It’s like the church has followed the lead of society, instead of leading society. The bible says that we must come out from among the worldly. Jesus said, “We are the salt of the earth, but what good is salt if it has lost its flavor?” It is no longer good for anything. So much of the modern church is about not offending anyone, except we are offending God. It’s getting so you can’t tell the sinners from the saints. It’s like if I were to go hang out in a nightclub drinking and slapping women on the butt saying, “God bless you sister”. Who would take me seriously as a Christian? But this is exactly what we do. And wonder why we don’t have any impact on the world for God. Why our sons and daughters continue to fornicate and have illegitimate children. Where is the leadership of the church? Where is the outcry of the church saints? You know what happens is that anyone that does speak out on this and other spiritual issues gets attacked by the church people, instead of praised. The bible says that, “they loved the praise of men, more that the praise of God.” In an effort to keep the membership rolls and tithes coming in, the church has ignored God’s word. And we as believers go from church to church looking for a brand of religion that will allow us to continue sinning without anyone making us feel uncomfortable. Jesus said following Him would be uncomfortable.

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross daily and follow me”.
Luke 9:23

So in order to follow our example from God we should deny ourselves and our fleshly desires. We should take up our cross daily, that doesn’t sound comfortable to me. Instead of the black church preaching the kingdom of God, they are preaching the ministry of prosperity. This is in direct opposition to the teachings of Christ. For years, I have been waiting for a groundswell of condemnation of this epidemic of fornication gripping our community. There has been none forthcoming. We continue to turn a blind eye to this issue, not realizing that this issue is the source of so many other problems we face as a community. Rather than look at the true cause of the problem we look at the symptoms. Looking at the true cause of the problem is much more difficult for it requires us to look at ourselves. We cannot continue down this path, for we know what awaits us. It is as if we are all sitting in an airplane that is about to crash and everyone knows it and no one is saying a word. There is no outcry. We are pretending that everything is fine. I am here to tell you it is not all fine, the plane is crashing! The devil wants you to sit there and ignore it, but I can no longer do so. Wake up! Instead of God being your co-pilot, He needs to be your pilot.

Chapter 1 Part 2

Fornication as defined by the Bible has created an atmosphere in our society that has caused many to lose respect for each other as the temples of the Holy Spirit. As I will discuss later, many people no longer value others as more than objects to be used for personal gratification. They believe that everything on this earth was placed here for their pleasure only. Fornication by its very nature reduces our essences to there most base level, the seeking of selfish pleasure despite the cost. Some have even convinced themselves that there are no costs. Fornication elevates our physical wants over our spiritual needs. My desire to be with someone is not about being of benefit to them (spiritual) it is about what can I get from this encounter for my benefit (physical). We are called to want the best for each other and to be willing to sacrifice our wants and desires for those of others. How can I claim to love a woman and yet not be concerned with the condition of her spiritual eternity? On the other hand, do I only love her physical body and the pleasure that I can derive from it at the cost of her spirit?

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful;
all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.
Let no one seek his own, but each others well-being.”
1 Corinthians 10:23-24

When we begin to lose value as humans to one another, we open a Pandora’s Box that includes all manner of human cruelty. If we look at our human history and our recent past, whenever one race values itself more human than another, genocide is not far behind. Fornication sets in motion this process on an individual basis. Its funny but the things that we look to alleviate with fornication (loneliness, low self-esteem) are the very things that we create by doing it.

“Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her
to be a whore; lest the land fall into whoredom,
and the land become full of wickedness.”
Leviticus 19:29

Fornication brings wickedness to the land by replacing God-given joy with man-driven pleasure. It replaces committed love with apathetic, disinterested selfishness. In many cases, those practicing fornication espouse love for one another, but it rings hollow if there is no concern for another’s honor and eternal life. I may not care if I get to see God, but how can I say I love you and not want you to see God? With fornication, it is no longer about the other person (they can be anyone) it is about someone getting what they want. It does not matter if you are married, engaged, or with someone, it only matters that my wants are being met. It is amazing how even those who practice these things recognize the state the world would be in if everyone did what they did. I have never heard of many people advocating this behavior for family members or others.

Chapter 1 What is Fornication?

CHAPTER 1

What Is Fornication?


The Greek word translated "sexual immorality" is porneia. The Hebrew word for fornication is “zanah”. It is used to describe many forms of sexual misconduct. The term fornication is also used to encompass many types of unhealthy sexual relationships outside of marriage. It can include premarital sexual relationships, homosexual acts, incest, prostitution, lust, rape, and bestiality. It can also be used in a metaphoric sense in the Bible to mean a forsaking of God.

The Princeton wordnet internet dictionary defines fornication as voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married. It also includes adultery in its definition as extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations.

"If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her,
he shall surely pay the bride price for her to be his wife."
Exodus 22:16

The Bible says that when a man takes (has sex with) a virgin he has to pay a price and marry her. Moreover, he cannot divorce her for as long as he lives. The Bible says that he has “humbled” her. In other words, he has humiliated her and caused her to feel shame. How many of our young women today feel “humiliated” by their virginity being taken? The family and the bridegroom were supposed to present the bride as pure before God and the community. When she has been violated, the violator has not only taken her honor but the honor of her family as well. These ideas may seem trivial in our modern day world, but they are still relevant. The reason they are relevant is that a man values purity even though he is the very one trying to defile it. We have many instances where men upon getting knowledge of a female loved one being violated cannot face the loved one. Most people believe that it is because he feels shame for the loved one, but actually, it is the opposite. The man feels ashamed because he could not protect the loved one; I speak from personal experience. Even in a lot of cases where the loved one was a willing participant many men still feel a sense of shame and blame the man for “enticing the female.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24

For the purpose of this book, we are going to use the definition of sexual relationships outside of marriage for fornication. As we see, indiscriminate sex was never God’s plan for us. God's Divine Plan throughout the scriptures has involved a man and a woman in matrimony. We see that from the beginning of time it was that way and continues to today. Some will say that times have changed. That was thousands of years ago. It does not matter; according to God; His Word always remains the same. Unlike our frequently changing society, God remains the same.

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My Words
will by no means pass away."
Matthew 24:35

Marriage was given to a man and a woman to raise a family. Nowhere is a family presented as a single male or female except in the case of death. A family in the sight of God has always been and always will be a male and a female parent raising children. Now does that mean God will not bless single parents? Of course not! However, we should remember it is we, who have perverted God's plan, not God changing His plans. There have been a number of outstanding single parent households, but let us understand this was not God's design. God has taken a bad situation and used it for His glory. However, make no mistake this in no way changes or modifies God original plan. We should not continue to believe that God will allow us to blatantly defy His revealed Word simply because it does not fit into our current lifestyles and mores. God was not created in our image, as many would have us to believe, we were created in His image. How can the clay dictate to the potter what vessel should be made? Does not the potter have power over the clay to create whatever He chooses with the clay?

I look forward to your comments...

First Post

The purpose of this blog is to bring light to a subject that has remained in the dark for too long. While fornication is a terrible sin that touches millions of lives the focus of this book is to address how it has affected the black community in particular. For a generation the men in our community have chosen not to be under the authority of God and to lie down with any and everyone they choose. The result has been a generation of angry young men who have no respect for himself or anyone else for that matter. They routinely kill each other violently and sell poison to their parents. They are angry because when they needed a male parent there was no one there and the ones who were there were spiritually absent, through selfishness and negligence.

I realize that by writing this blog that I am opening myself up to those people who have political agendas on both sides of the spectrum. They will want to kill the messenger rather than hear the message. My whole life will be scrutinized. I will be accused of being everything from a tool of the "Right Wing" to an "Uncle Tom" and everything in between. Let me say first that I am no one. I have no degree in anything from anywhere. All I am is a broken man whom God has chosen to deliver a message. I seek no fame or glory for myself, only that the living God be glorified and honored. There will be those that say this is a private matter that does not need to be aired publicly. In light of the good will, being given for the recent hurricane Katrina catastrophe many will wonder about the timing. To that, I say, "Who can know the mind of God?"

Nevertheless, this issue has needed a public airing for sometime. No one will be able to impeach my being able to speak on this subject, but some will try. I am a twice-divorced black male, with three kids, a drug addicted alcoholic with a felony. God could not have picked a more unlikely messenger. I know that I will be ridiculed and derided. I have prayed that this burden be lifted from me, but no one can stop God's Divine Plan. I know from experience that if I do not do what God wills he will replace me. What I am going to write is not what someone told me, but what I have seen and know from experience. What God has revealed to me through my life and the lives of those close to me. I began discussing this issue with black men in Atlanta in the year 2001, getting their stories and insights. At the time I was working with a homeless mission that dealt primarily with the drug addicted, alcoholic men that had deserted their families and children. But as I began to research this subject with other men I realized that it wasn't just a drug and alcohol problem, but men who were working and not addicted to any particular substance were also deserting women and children. This thing has reached epidemic proportions and needs to be addressed.

If I accomplish nothing else, my hope is that we will at least begin the discussion. I hope that you who read this blog will do so with an open mind and believe that I write it out of love for all those angry children. They deserve better from all of us. Let us go forth and heal this people and this land. We serve a merciful God.

"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins
and their lawless deeds I will remember no more"
Hebrews 8:12

If we turn to Him, he will be faithful and just to forgive us to forgive and cleanse us. I hope you are able to see past the messenger to the message. After all, isn't that what is truly important? If my words are true then let them stand, if they be false then let them fall. For the truth stands by itself and supports itself.

"You will know the truth and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32

It is my hope that someone may read these words and turn from their sinful ways. That someone may decide to break the cycle that has enslaved us for so many years.

"Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns
him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his
way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins."
James 5:19-20

I look forward to comments as we move forward with this discussion. I believe it is one of the most serious issues we face as a nation and as a people. I will be posting excerpts from a book that I have written and hope to get published soon. Thank you for reading and participating. I hope we can begin the dialog that will heal our people.