Are You Worth Waiting For?

To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and

unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled.

Titus 1:15

As I was on my way to work this week, I saw a young lady wearing a tee shirt that stated, “I am worth waiting for”. I have to admit when I first read it I was shocked; it’s not every day that you find our young women wearing the message of abstinence. Unfortunately for many of our young women the uniform of the day is a little more tawdry. As the day went on and I thought about the young ladies shirt, I was reminded of the many comments from folks that abstinence is unworkable, and impractical. Those kids are going to have sex and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

I began to think about that logic and those who are promoting it. The majority of people promoting this logic are people who themselves were unwilling or unable to remain celibate. I thought back into my training; there is a saying to find out who is behind something, follow the money. In this case, who would have something to gain from promoting this position, would it be God or Satan? If it were God then this would be in direct contradiction to His Word, which he said he would never do.[1] If Satan, then why are we promoting his agenda and doing his bidding? Am I foolish enough to think that kids or adults for that matter won’t fornicate? No, but I am not so jaded and cynical to give up on standing for something, God.

I believe that our women and our girls are worth waiting for. I believe that our children are our most precious resource and they should be protected, sometimes from themselves. Too often in our community our children are not being protected, they are being abandoned and forced to raise themselves. In many cases it is not even intentional neglect, but the byproduct of single parenthood. I believe the majority of single mothers want the best for their children, but because they are so over worked and stressed they can’t provide the attention and the care the children require. Our community is full of strong and beautiful women, who have been raising our children alone for years. I think though that it is time for our women to look at the bigger picture of what single parenthood does.

William Raspberry of the Washington Post writes

For the 2000 Census, the percentage of black families headed by married couples was 38. The only good news is that it was also 38 percent in 1990, suggesting that the trend may have stopped getting worse.

Now consider this: Fatherless families are America's single largest source of poverty. The Annie E. Casey Foundation's "Kids Count" once reported that Americans who failed to complete high school, to get married and to reach age 20 before having their first child were nearly 10 times as likely to live in poverty as those who did these three things.

But while marriage may not be a cure for poverty, it does turn out to be a fairly reliable preventative . Isn't it worthwhile to spend more time and resources helping young people to understand the economic implications of single parenthood before they become single parents? Wouldn't it make sense to rethink our relatively recent easy acceptance of out-of-wedlock parenting?[2]

The conclusion is that if our young women choose to become pregnant without the benefit of marriage they are not only condemning themselves, but also their children to a greater chance of a lifetime of poverty. I don’t think that if presented with the evidence most mothers would knowingly place their children in the vicious cycle of poverty, but many of them do it. This has given rise to generations of families that cannot escape the cycle of poverty. We will not be able to break the cycle of poverty that plagues our community without addressing the epidemic of fornication. Any remedies that do not take this into account will be like placing a band-aid on a shooting victim, it helps but it ain’t going to stop the bleeding.

This bleak prospect for single mothers prompted US public affairs columnist Jonathan Rauch to suggest that "marriage is displacing both income and race as the great class divide in the new century". Indeed, research shows that the growth of single parent families accounts for virtually all the increase in US child poverty rates between the 1970s and early 1990s. Children growing up in single parent families are four times as likely to be poor than are those from two-parent families.

Today, almost two thirds of all poor children are in single-parent homes. Growing up in single-parent families also has negative effects on the social and economic outcomes of children. In addition to their high incidence of poverty and low income, studies show that children from single-mother families are much more likely to experience psychiatric disorders, ranging from hyperactivity, conduct or emotional disorders, and schooling problems than those living both parents. While children growing up in single-parent families are not doomed, the odds are certainly stacked against them.[3]

We as concerned parents and neighbors have to come up with a way to educate our children on the negative effects of fornication. The biggest hurdle is the fact that in our community it is not just our children that are practicing fornication, but our adults as well. It is very difficult to press the argument of abstinence when the adult is laying up with people they are not married to. I think what fuels a lot of the anti-abstinence argument is the fact that we don’t want to teach our kids about abstinence if it requires us to evaluate our own lifestyles. We should be more that just hearers of the Word, we should also become doers of the Word.[4]

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[1] Matthew 24:35

[2] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/07/31/AR2005073101075_2.html

[3] http://www.nzbr.org.nz/documents/perspectives/perspectives-2004/Issue47.pdf

[4] James 1:22

Where Do We Go From Here?

Knowledge without action is worthless. To know something is wrong and to not act on that knowledge is the condemnation of man. God has made it clear to all of us what he requires. The choice however is ours, God will never impose His will on us. Every command of Jesus was couched in the statement of “if”. If you want eternal life, if you want to be healed, if you want to follow me, then here is what you do. God requires our cooperation in the healing process.[1] There are many of us who will only believe if God continues to provide signs. There are others who profess belief if they are able to continue doing the things they want. Lord, I will believe in You and worship You, if I can continue to gamble, chase women or men, and do what I want to do. God is not to be bargained with like some Bob Barker in the sky.

I know that there are many who need to receive this Word. If you have found this place, it is not by accident. Regardless of what brought you here, there is healing here. There is a Word for you here. I pray that you would pass this site on to others, that others may find the healing that we all so desperately need.

Fornication is killing us as a nation. We have lost our moral way and now we are stumbling along blindly being overtaken by all manner of sin. Our children have rebelled against us and against God. We are in a very dangerous place when the sons of men have lost their fear of God.[2] The many problems that beset us stem from our refusal to obey God. Obedience to God is not optional for Christians. We do not get to pick and choose what we will follow and when. We should no longer allow the world to dictate to the Church what is acceptable.

I am exploring having this book edited and published. If anyone would like to support me in this project, please email me. I will need financial support to get this project published. I would like to be able to get this Word out to our young people while there is still time. Can we count on you to support us in this effort to stop this epidemic? I want every young person in America to have a chance to read this and know that they have a choice. Our communities and our young people need you. Can they count on you? We have let them down so many times, let’s put them first for a change!

Rodney.Knott@gmail.com

[1] John 5:8
[2] Romans 3:10-18

Chapter 9, Part 8

“Repent and turn away from all your transgressions, so
that iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you
all the transgressions which you have committed, and
get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.”
Ezekiel 18:30, 31

According to the scriptures in order for us to remain repentant we will need a new heart and a new spirit. Why is this necessary? Because our old hearts and spirits have been corrupted and perverted. Due to our worldliness, our love of this world’s pleasures, we are of no use to God. God cannot use us if we love the world or the things of the world.[1] Thank God that He loves us too much to leave us the way we are. One of the problems with the “easy gospel” is that the only thing we have to do to be reconciled with God is just to confess our sins, no change of heart is required. There is a difference between confession and repentance. Confession merely is an acknowledgment of what we have done, our sins. This is important but it is only half of the equation. One must go to the next step, which is repentance. We should go put away those transgressions, or sins. We can acknowledge we are fornicators all day long, but at some point we must begin to turn away from this behavior. Acknowledging our sin to God is like us acknowledging our image on a surveillance video. It is already known that this is us, we must take the next step and we can with the help of God. If the Spirit of the Living God is in you, you will change. We can delay it, but we cannot prevent it. God’s will; cannot be stopped. Our fighting against it only brings us more pain. God has a new life for us, as represented by the new heart and spirit, but for some unknown reason we want to continue living a powerless life.

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise
as some count slackness, but is longsuffering
towards us, not willing that any should perish
but that all should come to repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9

Our God loves us so much He would let us die in our sins, He wants to allow us every opportunity to put them away and come to Him. We should thank Him, not only those of us who are saved but also those who are unsaved. He is being so very patient with this sinful people as we continue to parade our fornicating ways in front of His Holy presence. However, the time is drawing near when He is going to come for His people. At this very day He is calling us to be holy, because He is holy.[2] I pray that we repent while there is still time. No one knows the hour of His coming, but the good servant will be ready whenever that day is.[3] If we are busy doing His will then it will not matter when He comes. Beware of those who come prophesying the exact time of His arrival they are not of Him. If we are not caught up in our sinfulness it will not matter what day it is we will be ready.

“Then God saw there works, that they turned
from their evil way; and God relented from the
disaster that He said He would bring upon them,
and He did not do it.”
Jonah 3:10

The city of Nineveh was a very sinful and rebellious place, some would say comparable to our current society. But when confronted with their sinfulness they repented by the grace of God. God was so moved by their change of heart that He allowed Himself to be changed. He did not do what He had said He would. The lesson for us today is that if we forsake our evil ways, God will restore us to our place of fellowship with Him. If we stop laying with anybody and everybody, God will forgive and forget. However, unlike the city of Nineveh we hear the call of God, the pronouncement of His condemnation of our fornicating ways and ignore Him. I wish I could stress enough the thought that the sin for us, is that we refuse to let God do what we know He can do. We refuse to let God change us. We will not use the power that God has given us to change.

If we repent of this evil and live in the spirit with God the societal ills that we suffer from will be healed. Our children will stop killing each other, the drugs will be removed from our streets, and we will be respected as a people. This is only a small partial list of things God is waiting and willing to do for us. Some would say that I am being too naive and oversimplifying the problems. That our problems are much more complicated than that. I say thank God that He has used simple things to confound the wise of this world.[4] Do not be fooled by the enemy into thinking that we are going to solve this by intelligence and common sense. All sin can only be defeated by the Spirit of God which dwells within all those who are true believers and followers of God. God is the only one who can heal this people. The question then becomes, do we want to be healed?

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[1] 1 John 2:15

[2] Leviticus 11:44

[3] Matthew 24:36

[4] Matthew 11:25

Chapter 7 Part 7

There are many of you who feel like you are in unbearable situations at home and you feel unloved and unwanted. For some of you those who are suppose to be protecting you are pressuring you to defile yourselves with them. And unfortunately for some your purity has been taken by these very same "protectors". Nothing could be further from the truth, you are beautiful and precious to God. Your heavenly Father knows your situation, He knows your pain. You may feel alone, but you are not. There are people who love you very much, especially God. Do not surrender to the tricks of the enemy. He will lie to you and tell you that you are worthless and nobody cares about you. There is no reason to stay pure, and besides everyone else is doing it. The world screams why should you be any different. Don’t you want to be popular and fit in? You are nothing special; if you want to belong, you need to defile yourself. This is your only worth; you are nothing more than a body to give for the pleasure of others. Well, you are special, you are one of our most important assets. The future of our people is in you.

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth.
I did not come to bring peace but a sword, for I
have come to set a man against his father, a
daughter against her mother, and a
daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
Matthew 10:34,35

The Lord tells us that we must choose ourselves to follow Him. This means that if your family is not choosing to serve God, you serve Him anyway. If they are not going to church and obeying God, you do it anyway. Go with the neighbors or talk to a pastor, God will place people in your life for you to find Him through. Though you may only be children you are still responsible to follow God. Seek God in your lives and He will make His presence known. Many churches have youth outreach programs. Begin at home by developing a relationship with God privately. As I wrote to the young men spend fifteen minutes a day seeking God and your life will change. He will lead you through whatever situation that may appear impossible for you. With God all things are possible, nothing is impossible for Him. The Bible says that if you draw near to God He will draw near to you.[1] This world is dying every day, you do not have to die with it. Young people you have a tremendous struggle ahead of you, but with God’s help you can accomplish anything! Sometimes following God will be difficult, but the rewards are worth the effort. You will be a better person and your life will be better for it.

Marriage is God’s perfect outlet for our sexual desires. To look at the world you would not be able to tell. Our whole culture screams sex, sex, and more sex and there is hardly a dissenting voice. Many of the same people who preach abstinence are the same people who own the media outlets that promote this casual sexual atmosphere. They are hypocrites and God will judge them. It is unfortunate but for the sake of material riches you the youth of our nation have become expendable. You are bought and sold daily. On the one hand it appears that you have value, but underneath you are only a profit margin. The enemy makes it look like your opinions are important, but only in how he can corrupt you. The whole world is becoming a commercial, a slogan. The world is not some office on “Madison Avenue”. There is a God and He will give to everyone according to their choices.[2] I am not trying to frighten anyone only trying to give you the truth. There must be a change for our people and it must begin with you. Choose purity and choose life. Do not believe the lies of this world, it does matter that you remain pure. You will feel better about yourselves and the world around you. Everywhere you turn it is about sex, the world would like for you to believe that it is no big deal. It is not important if you stay pure, it is some old-fashioned thinking. Talk to your parents and grandparents the world told them the same thing years ago. But it is important, your future will be determined by your choices. You only have one chance to be with the one you love in a loving marriage with purity of body, heart, and spirit. It is no wonder so many of our marriages do not last we come into them defiled. Do not waste it away without thinking.

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[1] James 4:8

[2] Matthew 16:27

Chapter 7 Part 5

You should not lose hope and allow the enemy to defeat you. Our people need you. It is too late for your fathers, but it is not too late for you. We should stop this epidemic of violence in our communities. We should no longer continue to kill each other indiscriminately. We should give life back its respect. This will only begin with having respect for others as well as yourself. We will not be able to respect others until we have learned to respect ourselves.

“Therefore know that the LORD your God, is God, the faithful God
who keeps His covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with
those who love Him and keep His commandments.”
Deuteronomy 7:9

Faith is the key to changing our lives. Without faith there can be no change, because there will be no reason for change. The Bible says that we can not please God without faith.[1] We must believe that God can heal us, before we can begin to allow it to happen. Change is difficult for most of us and involves a lot of fear. Why does it take so much pain? I hope you realize how much we need you, the survival of a people rest in your hands. You are our future, we only rise as high as you rise. You will rise only as far as you allow God to raise you. If you could only recognize who and what you are, you would no longer continue to live this way. You are the Holy temple of the Living God. You are not the lies that the enemy tells you that you are. The enemy tells you that you are unlovable and worthless. Whenever anyone tries to love us, we show them just how unlovable we really are. This is done by behaving in such a way that you attempt to chase everyone away. But God is faithful and will remain with you until the end, His love is eternal.

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[1] Hebrews 11:6

Chapter 6 Part 9

“And as soon as we heard these things, our hearts melted; neither
did there remain anymore courage in anyone because of you,
for the LORD your God, He is God in heaven above and
on the earth beneath. Now therefore I beg you, swear to
me by the LORD, since I have shown you kindness
that you also show kindness to my fathers house, and give
me a true token, and spare my father, my mother,
my brothers, my sisters, and all that
they have, and deliver our lives from death.”
Joshua 2:11-13

Notice how she recognized who God was and what He was capable of doing for not only her, but also her family. She had determined that God was God and that He had the power to do what He said He would do. Now remember this woman had been serving pagan gods her whole life, yet when presented with the evidence she knew the truth by faith. And of course she was saved along with everyone in her family. Though the whole city crumbled around them they were kept safe. Likewise for us though our whole society or our whole world is crumbling under the weight of sin, we must stand in our faith. We should stand not in who we are, but in who God is. The world may say it is ok to fornicate, to continue in sinfulness and that God does not care. That the only thing that matters is our own personal wants and desires. Rahab was willing to risk death for God. What are you willing to risk for God? Are you willing to set aside your selfish sexual pleasures for God, for your family, and for yourself? Just as with Rahab the thing we do not realize is that yes her eternal life was saved, but also her earthly life got better. She got saved and stopped being a harlot, she was able to join God’s people. Sin destroys our spiritual lives, but also our physical lives become more burdensome. How much more difficult is the life of an addicted person to the life of someone who is not? We should stop looking at spirituality as some pie in the sky when we die. It is for our earthly lives as well. The Bible says, “if we follow God’s commands our lives will be better today.[1] It will not only be better for us, but also our children and our children’s children. That it will be good for us as a people, as a nation.[2]

Remember the world is at odds with those that love God and attempt to follow Him. The world always has been and always will come against those who choose to follow God. We are not of this world, just as our Lord was not of this world.[3] Why do we continue to follow in the ways of the world? The world hated our Savior, but you think it will love you? If the world loves you that can only mean you are of the world, because the world loves its own. We continue to put our children in situations that are dangerous for them. Today, it is not uncommon to see gangs of children walking the streets late at night. Where are their parents I often think to myself? It never fails when one of these children comes up missing or dead the parent will say how much they loved that child and maybe they did but not enough to protect that child. This is not to say that there are not predators that will prey on children no matter how vigilant the parent, however we should not make it easy for our children to be prey. I know this is tough to take, but we should stop giving these parents free passes for not protecting their children better. You have mothers who not only know their sons are selling drugs, but they are either his best customer, dealer, or sharing in the proceeds. When these sons are killed by the street violence, these mothers are heart broken. Did these mothers love their sons? I am sure they did, but they allowed their own selfish desires to come before that child’s welfare. These decisions are based on a lifetime of other bad decisions. It is similar to when they allow their fornication to place their child at risk, especially their daughters. We have women in this society that have men in their homes who are sexually abusing their own daughters and refuse to acknowledge it. They will blame the daughter or profess disbelief in the daughter just to allow this pervert to stay in their homes. Your children are at risk because you have these men who you know little or nothing about around your children. You have no idea if they are pedophiles are what! All you know is that he says he “likes me and keeps me from being lonely. You put your children also at risk by showing them a lifestyle that is not only sinful, but dangerous.

We look up to these “celebrities” who are just as guilty of fornication for direction in life. We look to the world to speak out against the ways of the world. These people are no different than you are I, they were just willing to do what it took to be a “celebrity” Some of their souls have already been bought and paid for by their actions and decisions. If you are not following God you are following the world no matter who you are. No matter how much money or celebrity status you may have. God has no respect of person; sin is sin to Him. We take advice from people who are not following the Word of God, but their own moral compass. If that were sufficient we would have had no need for the redemptive work of Christ. God is our moral director through His Word. If you are getting advice that goes against the Word of God, it is not from God. God will never go against His own Word. This advice is of the world and may sound logical, but it will come to ruin.

Finally, there is the troubling trend of some parents to have their children picked up on Sunday or during the week by churches they have never been to themselves. While most of these churches are trying to do God’s work, there are some that may not be. We are reading daily about this church or that denomination having scandals. Even if the church is reputable, you have no idea what they are teaching your children. In addition, you are teaching your children that this is not important enough for you to attend. The lesson from this is that it is only important for children to attend when you become an adult you don’t need this church thing. How much do we love our children? Do we love them enough to put them first for a change? Mothers love and protect your children for this is the will of God for you.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom. And her tongue is
the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her
household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and Call her blessed.”
Proverbs 31:26-28

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[1] Deuteronomy 5:29

[2] Deuteronomy 28:1

[3] John 17:16

Chapter 6 Part 7

You were created to reflect the femininity of God as the man was created to reflect the masculinity of God. They are different sides to the same God. Do you know that you were also created in the image of God just as the man was? The woman was created to help the man take care of the earth. More importantly, you were created also to fellowship with God. You and the man were created from the same essence of God. The Spirit of God dwells in us both. The Spirit dwells in you to help the man to be fruitful and multiply in a Godly relationship. From the beginning of time it has been this way and will continue until the end. In God’s perfect design for us just as it was not good for the man to be alone so it is not good for the woman to be alone. Only men and women were designed to fellowship spiritually with God and with each other. That fellowship was broken by the “fall” in the Garden of Eden. Not only was the fellowship with God broken and damaged, but also the spiritual connection between man and woman. This damage persists to this day. We do not relate to each other the way God originally intended for us to.

Just as the command of God represented a choice to them in the Garden of Eden, so we have choices today. God could have created us to worship Him without choice, but that would not be true love. That would be like the animals worship God. The animals worship God by being what God created them to be, the fish worships God by being a fish. True love is when we can love anybody in the world but choose to love the person we are with. I can eat from the tree you commanded me not to eat from, but I choose to obey you. Thus, I demonstrate my love for you in the choices I make. Christ Jesus told us, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”[1] So love requires action on our part. If we profess love for God we are required to keep His commandments. There are no loopholes. I remember being in church and seeing the same men and women every Sunday taking the altar call to repent or rededicate themselves. There should come a time in the life of a believer when his life begins to manifest the life of Christ. Some would say these are backsliders. I would venture to say that you cannot backslide until you have truly repented and been saved. We cannot continue to commit the same sins weekly or daily and claim salvation. True salvation requires, no demands a change in our lives. God loves me too much to leave me the same way He found me. It becomes a matter of my choices. Am I choosing obedience to God or obedience to Satan? Christ Jesus says, “Whoever commits sin is a slave to sin.”[2] A slave means that sin is my master and has control of me. A slave loses control of his life and all that entails when he becomes a slave. We of ourselves can do nothing against this addiction to sexual immorality. In the final chapter we will discuss the ways to break this cycle and begin to stop this epidemic.

When it comes to making choices, we demonstrate our love based on our choices. We demonstrate our love to our wives and husbands not because we cannot commit adultery, but by choosing not to. By choosing the love of our mate over the momentary urge to satisfy our selfish desires we show our love. We may say we love someone or something, but it is our choices that reveal our true feelings. Love requires sacrifice, when we decide that we love someone we make a conscious decision to be with that person, forsaking all others. By our being with our mates we are choosing not to be with anyone else, there in lies the sacrifice. For many today they want the relationship, but without the sacrifice. The choices give love meaning. If I can continue to be with others and still be with you where is the sacrifice and the choice. Without choices there is no meaning to love. You can make someone do what you want them to do, but you cannot make someone love you. Sometimes we don’t even know why we love what or who we love, we just know we do. Our choices in this life say much about who we truly are, not who we claim to be. The key to many of the bad choices we make is a spirit of rebelliousness. The world calls it independence, but it is rebelliousness to God. Anything I do independent of God is a sin, no matter how noble it may be. We are saying we know better than God what is best for us. I know better than my parents what is best for me. If you choose to harm yourself this is probably not a rational or sane decision. If you are making these choices it is probably not you who is making them but the sin that dwells in you. Normal people usually do not make decisions that they know will lead to harm for themselves. Choosing to have sex as a young teen is a harmful choice, it can and usually does lead to pregnancy. An unwanted pregnancy has “harmed” a large number of young women and men. Any woman who is not married at any age choosing to engage in sexual activities is making a harmful choice. The harm is not only the possibility of pregnancy and sexual disease, but also the harm that the sin does to the spirit and the fellowship with God.

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[1] 1 John 14:15

[2] John 8:34

Chapter 5 Part 2

We have left the most important job God has given us to our women. A mans first job is to save his home. How can we save our homes? Homes implies family, we do not create families. We do not create homes we destroy them. We do not exalt our women we tear them down. We destroy homes by taking our young women from their homes with false lies and then leaving them after our fornication to raise our children. We steal their innocence and purity and leave them with nothing. From the looks of our communities children are not a blessing from the Lord, but more of an obstacle to the game. What game you ask? The game of how many women we can get to have sex with us. For many of our men the measure of our manhood is the number of sexual conquest we have. There is only one problem; children are being created. It is amazing with all this fornicating going on no one has considered condoms. Do not get me wrong fornicating is fornicating and is still considered a sin with or without a condom, with or without a child being produced. However, consider the lives we are needlessly destroying. We expect our women not only raise the children but to provide for their spiritual training as well. A job God has clearly assigned to the man. How long will we continue to try to mock God?

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for
whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who
sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but
he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”
Galatians 6:7,8

We as humans are notorious for laying claim to those things we do not possess. We tell ourselves we are not so bad or evil men, so were in no danger of the wrath of God. The Bible plainly states we will all reap the wrath of God. The men of my generation have been sowing to our flesh for a long time.

There was a man who received two puppies. He named the first one flesh and the second one spirit. The man fed the puppy named flesh twice as much food as spirit and plus gave him all the scraps from the table. As they grew and matured, which puppy do you think will get larger? I would venture to guess the puppy named flesh. It is a physiological fact. That is what we have been doing, feeding our flesh man twice as much as our spiritual man. How do I feed my flesh man you ask? Simply by feeding my fleshly desires; fornication, pornography, drugs/alcohol, strip clubs, etc. You get the picture. How do I feed the spiritual man? Through fellowship with God and obeying of God’s word is how my spirit is fed. There is a war going on inside of us between our flesh man and our spirit man, it is as old as time. Right now, for most of us, our flesh man is “swoll” and our spiritual man is puny. When temptation comes along, we are not able to stand because the flesh man overrides the spirit man. Christ Jesus warned His disciples in the garden, “Watch and pray lest you fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” The flesh has been ruling our lives for too long. The Bible tells us we as a nation, we as a people will reap what we sow. We have sown the seeds of fornication and now we are reaping the fruits of it.

“They shall repay you for your lewdness, and you shall pay
for your idolatrous sins. Then you shall know
that I am the LORD God.”
Ezekiel 23:49

Because of our lewdness, God will judge us. The Lord wants to use us to show the world what can happen, if a people will repent of their sins and return to God. He wants to demonstrate His great mercy and forgiveness. Conversely, He will demonstrate what happens when they do not. There have been too many victims in this epidemic. The Lord is patient towards us, but His patience will not endure forever. It is time for us as Black men to grow up; the time for foolishness is over. How can we continue to demand that the world treat us as men while we behave as little children? Because we have left the authority of God, He is giving us up to our wickedness. For too long we have denied the hurt and pain we have inflicted on others through our fornication, taking the innocence and purity of our people with no regard to the outcome.

I hear men all the time say, “It’s the woman’s fault. We would not be fornicating if it was not for the women.” Not only is this cowardice, the Bible completely disagrees. The Bible says that the woman is the weaker vessel. We as men should step up and accept our responsibility to our communities. We will never be taken seriously by the world until we learn to control our behavior. In Proverbs it says, “That a man with no self-control is like a city without walls .” He cannot defend himself or anyone else. It is sad but even our Black brothers from around the world have lost respect for us. They see us as spoiled little children. The legacy we have given our children is full of sinfulness. As men our responsibility, is to teach the ways of God and to train them in God’s Word and ordinances. We have not done that. Instead of teaching them righteousness, we have taught them lawlessness. Can we now be surprised by the current state of life? I am not!

“For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud,
blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving,
unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers
of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from
such people turn away! For this sort are those who creep into
households and make captives of gullible women loaded down
with sins, led away by various lusts.”
2 Timothy 3:2-6

Wow, do any of these traits sound familiar to anyone? This I believe concisely encapsulates our current state of affairs. The part that sticks out for me is the part about gullible women. We have men in our communities that make a living off the checks that some women get monthly. They only visit these women once a month when their checks arrive. Or they will do the same to women who are working regular jobs, only coming around on payday. These men do not give a second thought that the woman’s children and usually that man’s children also, will be struggling for the rest of the month. They concern themselves only with their own greed and desires. This is not the behavior of men, but of greedy, selfish children. The world revolves around me. These same women are supposed to be looking out for the welfare of these broken children, more on this later. These men have made captives of these households and loaded these women down with sins. The fruit of these sins are the children. The same children they chose to rob. How long will we rob our most precious resource and not expect a backlash. We also rob them in our lack of financial support. Those of you, who think you are better than the monthly check pimps are, think about how much support you are providing your children.

Here is the insanity of it all those men who do remain after the “blessed event” rather than teaching their sons not to repeat their mistakes, they teach them the exact same behavior. “I’m raising a playa”, they exclaim. No, you are raising another irresponsible fornicator like yourself! Children come to us as empty vessels from God; it is up to us to fill those vessels. It is as if their minds are new little computers that need to be programmed. In the computer business there is a saying, “Garbage in, garbage out.” In other words, whatever you program in; that is what is going to come out. If I input wisdom, the child will be wise. Look at how we dress our littlest children; we buy them designer clothes and shoes. Not for their sakes are we buying these things, but to impress the world. We think it is more important to put them in FUBU than to put God’s word in them. It is more important what is on the outside of our children than what is on the inside. The Bible says, “They love the praise of men more than the praise of God.” Wisdom is to be sought after as if it were gold according to the Scriptures. It is to be taught by the elders. Wisdom is suppose to come with the passing of time, the older one gets the more wisdom one should acquire. The only problem we have is that some of older men are just as foolish, if not more foolish than our young men. Their many years instead of providing wisdom, has only provided a multitude of sins. O my people how long will we continue to forsake the Lord? How long will we ignore His Word and commandments?

“that the older man be sober, reverent, temperate,
sound in faith, in love, in patience…Likewise,
exhort the young men to be sober-minded.”
Titus 2:2,6

As we can see, according to the word of God, teaching of doctrine comes from the older men and women. How many of us can say we are even living the doctrine, let alone passing this information on to our children? We have too many babies raising babies for any wisdom to be imparted. What are we teaching our children to create this epidemic? What message are we sending that it is ok to go out and fornicate and create all these fatherless children? See their use to be a word for these children when we were growing up, it was called a “bastard child”. Of course, that has been replaced these days by some new sanitized term (baby’s momma or baby’s daddy). I believe that it is time to send some new messages. These messages are not in words alone, but also in deeds. We need to begin to change our behavior and character. The Bible tells us that those who do not train or discipline their children do not love their children. Due to our humanistic response to child abuse, physically disciplining children is no longer allowed. Were there being children abused? Yes. Are there children being abused today? Yes. There will always be a small segment of the population that will misinterpret God’s laws. Then of course, there will always be some sick people who are hurting and act out that hurt by hurting others. However, does this give us the right to ignore or reinterpret God’s Word? I think not! Under no circumstances are we to cancel what God has clearly revealed to us. We can never believe that we know better than God what is right for others and ourselves. We must never replace God’s wisdom with the wisdom of man, no matter how many degrees they have. Instead of following God, we are choosing to follow the world. The Bible says that following the world leads to destruction. The Proverbs tells us that “there is a way which seems right to a man, but the end of it is death.” To not physically discipline, your child seems right by today’s standards, but the Bible says I am sending that child to hell and that I in fact do not love that child.

“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of
them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way,
when you lie down and when you wake up.”
Deuteronomy 11:19

As you can see our jobs as men is not only to teach our children the ways of God, but to strangers and also ourselves. We are to not only speak them, but also live them in our homes. How can we teach our children what we do not know or do not practice? It is written that we should not only be hearers of the Word, but doers of the Word as well. We should be streams of living water to our wives and our children; instead, we are cesspools of sin. Our fornication has blinded us to the truth about God. We have been blinded to our true purposes as men. Anybody can make a child; it takes a man to raise one. As we go, our people go. Our people will never climb any higher than we as men climb. Up until now, we have let our women and children down. Rather than sacrifice our selfish lusts, we have sold out the very people who counted on us to protect them.

Instead of protecting our women and children, we have preyed on them. It is no wonder our women are not treated with the respect they deserve. A lot of them have little or no self-esteem thanks to us. Our treatment of them is a direct cause of this epidemic of fornication. In an effort to find, acceptance and love they have allowed themselves to become deluded into accepting any semblance of love, no matter how perverted. In addition, we have orchestrated this wickedness for our own selfish purposes.

Chapter 4 Part 3

Therefore, God can and does use anyone to prosper His people and to continue His divine plan. However, in order for that to happen, we must submit to His will and not ours. We must follow His perfect plan and not our imperfect ones. We must cooperate with the Hole Spirit. God will never impose His will in our lives. I have often said, "God loves me so much, He will allow me to kill myself." God has given us His “plan A”, but for some reason we must use our inferior “plan B”. This one requires God to initial here, here, and sign at the bottom. This is the plan we came up with while waiting on God’s perfect “plan A”. This is the plan that we devised when God seemed too busy or when we did not want to turn some area of our lives over to Him. God made us sexual beings and God wants us to enjoy it, but like everything else in His creation within the boundaries of His perfect love and will for us.

For those of us who have been married, marriage is a difficult proposition. It has it‘s moments of pure bliss, mixed with moments of what seems like pure hell. Into this mix, we incorporate habits of the male role model being around the house infrequently and under dubious conditions. The man, the supposed head of the household according to God’s hierarchy could not even be in the house. We wonder why our men do not know how to be husbands and fathers. How can we?

In this already explosive atmosphere, we add the blossoming women’s liberation movement with its calls for freedom for women. At this time, I want to acknowledge that for the first 200 years of our country’s history the white male has had a monopoly on opportunity. Anyone who was not white and male was excluded from any and all opportunities. Saying all this, the women’s liberation movement had some appeal with its cries of freedom. The problem occurred when they began to tell women that they did not need a man. I am all for equal pay for equal work for everyone, but it goes against God’s Word to proclaim that we do not need each other. The women’s movement even went so far as to compare their struggle with the plight of the black people. This only gave it more creditability in the eyes of some. I wonder though how can the mistress of the house compare her position with the slave? No matter how difficult their situation may have been I have not heard of many stories where the mistress of the house made a decision to exchange places with the slaves. One writer explains in the following way:

“Part of the overwhelming frustration black women felt within the Women's Movement was at white feminists' unwillingness to admit to their racism. This unwillingness comes from the sentiment that those who are oppressed can not oppress others. White women, who were (and still are) without question sexually oppressed by white men, believed that because of this oppression they were unable to assume the dominant role in the perpetuation of white racism; however, they have absorbed, supported and advocated racist ideology and have acted individually as racist oppressors. Traditionally, women's sphere of influence has extended over the home, and it is no coincidence that in 1963, seven times as many women of color (of whom 90 percent were black) as white women were employed as private household workers. It has been the tendency of white feminists to see men as the "enemy," rather than themselves, as part of the patriarchal, racist, and classist society in which we all live.

Not only did some white feminists refuse to acknowledge their ability to oppress women of color, some claimed that white women had always been anti-racist. Adrienne Rich claims, "our white foresisters have ... often [defied] patriarchy ... not on their own behalf but for the sake of black men, women, and children. We have a strong anti-racist female tradition;" however, as Bell-Hooks points out "[t]here is little historical evidence to document Rich's assertion that white women as a collective group or white women's rights advocates are part of an anti-racist tradition." Every women's movement in the United States has been built on a racist foundation: women's suffrage for white women, the abolition of slavery for the fortification of white society, the temperance movement for the moral uplifting of white society. None of these movements was for black liberation or racial equality; rather, they sprang from a desire to strengthen white society's morals or to uplift the place of white women in that society.”

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I
will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18 NIV

Therefore, it was always God’s plan for men to need women and women to need men. We were placed here to be helpers for each other, not hindrances. So here, we have the intentional emasculation of the black man through racism mingled with the call of the women’s liberation movement, “What can a man do for me?” The women’s movement saw the man as the enemy through sexual discrimination, yet overlooked the inherent racial discrimination of the participants. That through the policies many supported to overcome poverty they were actually destroying the black family unit. This left the black man with few if any options.

“Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
Genesis 3:16

It is only by the grace of God that we have been given this desire for one another. I would not for a moment overlook the pleasures and the joy that God has given us in a healthy sexual relationship between married couples. We have perverted this relationship by making sex and our own selfish pleasures our God. We should ask ourselves what is our desire when we participate in fornication. Is it a desire to please God or to please man? God has created a hierarchy for His understanding not mine. When I surrender to God, I lose my justification for asking why. Why is this happening to me Lord or why is the world setup in this way? It is not for me to question, it is only for me to do. Many times some modern Christians believe that God needs their belief and understanding to do His will. God does not require my belief! It does not matter whether I believe in God because God believes in me. We should always remember that we were created for God. God was not created for us.

“For who has known the mind of the LORD?
Or who has become His counselor?”
Romans 11:34

Chapter 3 Part 2

2) Violation of God’s law

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship
with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants
to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”
James 4:4

The Bible says that those who practice sexual immorality are at war with God. Those who practice such are friends of the world, but not friends of God. God’s laws according to the Bible were given to serve two purposes. The first was to protect us from the world and from ourselves. The second reason was to drive us to Him. Because of God’s never ending love for us, He has always wanted the best for us. We believe that we know better than God what is best for us, but time and again, we choose the wrong thing. How many times do we say I have to have this thing or that person only to later regret choosing it. We do not know what is best for ourselves. God has the ability to know the future, to know what I am going to need and to provide it. In our modern society we have lost our fear of God. The psalmist’s tells us that there is no fear of God before their eyes. To violate God’s laws means nothing to us. However, the Bible tells us that God will not be mocked, whatever a man sows that he will also reap. God tells us that the guilty will not go unpunished. How long will we continue to ignore God’s laws? We ourselves cannot keep God’s laws. If it were possible, there would have been no reason for the death of Christ. However, when I surrender to God I am given the power to overcome sin. The Bible says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That means all things! That includes stopping our fornication and all other sins I may be committing. If God has the power to create the heavens and the earth and raise the dead, does He not also have the power to stop me from sinning? I do not have the power within myself to obey God’s laws. I never have and I never will on my own power. I must submit to God before I am able even to begin to overcome sin. I must get back under the authority of God.

3) Illegitimate children

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and
the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise
your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”

1 Corinthians 7:14

According to the Bible, children born out of wedlock are unclean. I know it sounds harsh, but that is what it says. For too long now we have been sugar coating the Word of God. It is time to get real and to get serious about God and His Word. Our future and our very souls depend on it. We are placing the shame of our sin on our children. It is amazing how we try to cover it up with these clever names: baby’s momma or baby’s daddy. No, you are both harlots! You are sinners and you need to repent today! It is even more amazing how so few of our “so called” religious leaders are speaking out on this epidemic. We should remove this obstacle and stop this now. We must break the cycle. It is only getting worse, as it always does. There is no reason why our young women are having multiple illegitimate children. What are we as parents, as a community, and as religious leaders doing to stem this problem? We should begin to ask ourselves some tough questions as a people. Why are we allowing this to go on unchecked? In addition, it is not just the impoverished, but young men and women with college degrees from middle class, upper middle class backgrounds. What does this say about us as a people? Where is our moral fiber? We have to do better. We can do better when we surrender our will to God’s will. Instead of treating these women as victims and martyrs, we need to acknowledge the fact of their sinfulness. If we continue to do what we know is sin, then we are practicing sin. Practicing sin is like practicing anything else, the more we practice the better we get. We all sin, but we all do not practice sin. Sin should not be something we want to get good at. Why do we practice anything? To get better at it of course. When I was a child and wanted to become a better basketball player, I would practice and eventually I got pretty good. So even a child knows what the purpose of practice is. Do I want to do that with sin?

Chapter 3 Part 1 Why Is Fornication So Bad?

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does
is outside the body, but he who commits sexual
immorality sins against his own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18

According to the bible fornication causes us to sin against ourselves, against our own bodies. It opens our bodies to the very nature of sin. It allows demons to use our bodies against themselves. It also brings the contamination of sin into our bodies; sexual sin opens our bodies up to the disease of sin like nothing else. It causes us to view our bodies with contempt, instead of the temples of God that they were created to be. When we are going against our own bodies this can only breed contempt. We are at war with ourselves. My own body is being used against me, against my will. The bible says that a house divided against itself will not stand. How can I stand for God when my body is divided against itself? The bible goes on to say that our bodies are no longer our own, they have been purchased for a price. They now belong to God. Of course in truth they were always God’s. My body houses the Holy Spirit of God.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you
have from God, and you are not your own.”
1 Corinthians 6:19

The apostle Paul goes on to state that our bodies are members of Christ and shall we join the members of Christ with a harlot? Certainly not! Are we to unite the Spirit of God to perversion? God forbid! Fornication reduces my status as a person in my own mind. I lose respect for myself, my body, and the other person when I fornicate. You profane the temple of the Holy Spirit. Your body becomes a toll against itself. Many times I have awaken in the morning laying next to someone I didn’t even know and felt perverted. What do I say to this person I do not know? It all felt so awkward on a deep spiritual level. Yet we just shared the most intimate moment two people can share according to God. There is something wrong here, my thinking is not right. We have taken something good and honorable and have turned it into something cheap and tawdry. There is no love without commitment. Without love, the sex act is just a common act between two beasts in the field. However, even the beasts of the field take care of their offspring. Animals after procreating, at least raise their young. Are our young any less important? God thinks not.

Let’s look at the cost of fornication on our people and society.
1) Loss of innocence and purity
2) Violation of God’s law
3) Illegitimate children
4) Guilt
5) Sexual diseases
6) Lack of respect
7) Deterioration of society
8) Violence
9) Loss of usefulness to God
10) Anger of the children

1) Loss of innocence and purity

“To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled
and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their minds and
a conscience are defiled.”
Titus 1:15

It is God’s plan that we come to our marriages pure in body and heart. In God’s healthy plan of marriage and relationships being pure is highly valued. According to the bible, any woman who married and was found not to be a virgin would be stoned. The woman is the vessel by which life comes into this world. How are things brought into this world? They are borne into it. In order for Jesus to be fully human, He had to be borne into this world, thus the need for Mary. Therefore, it is for all things. A woman’s body is one of her most precious gifts. Only a woman in natural sexual activity is penetrated, this gives the woman a very different perspective on the sexual act. For a man the act of sex is external due to his organs and thus his attitude towards sex reflects that. A woman due to her physical organs is usually more conservative concerning sexual matters than men. Women usually require an emotional connection for sexual activity. Because of the emotional nature of the sex act to a woman, it tends to have more meaning. Women tend to have more of an attachment to their partner than men do. I remember every female virgin I ever “deflowered” had a deeply emotional attachment unlike any other of the women I was with. In some cases, that attachment may even persist to this day. Losing that purity and innocence can have a lifetime effect for not only the woman, but also the man. We live in a society that only promotes the pleasure of sex without the commitment of love and marriage. Our moral standards have been compromised.

Chapter 2 Part 4

Finally, there is the humiliation of sin. We talk about our “values” and yet we receive humiliation at home and abroad. We talk about exporting our values, the world doesn’t want them, and we wonder why. What’s wrong with them? They see our hypocrisy. How we lay claim to things that we do not have or believe in. How we attempt to promote our policies at the end of a gun. Sin brings humiliation to the individual, as well as to a nation. We try to hide it, but guilt and humiliation follows every sin. Initially, we cannot look people in the eye because of our sins, but as we continue to practice them there develops a comfort in them. We learn how to ignore the pain and humiliation. The only problem is that they do not go away, they manifest themselves in other areas of our lives. In how we view ourselves and others, from a shame based perspective. As we become more comfortable in our sins, we become more embolden to commit other more serious sins. But there is One who can remove all these epidemics. That One is God, may you come to Him now.

“Since the days of our forefathers to this day we have been very guilty,
and for our iniquities we, our kings and our priests have been
delivered into the hand of the king of the lands, to the sword,
to captivity, to plunder, and to humiliation, as it is this day.”
Ezra 9:7

It is unfathomable to me that the black church for the most part has been silent on this most important issue. It’s like the church has followed the lead of society, instead of leading society. The bible says that we must come out from among the worldly. Jesus said, “We are the salt of the earth, but what good is salt if it has lost its flavor?” It is no longer good for anything. So much of the modern church is about not offending anyone, except we are offending God. It’s getting so you can’t tell the sinners from the saints. It’s like if I were to go hang out in a nightclub drinking and slapping women on the butt saying, “God bless you sister”. Who would take me seriously as a Christian? But this is exactly what we do. And wonder why we don’t have any impact on the world for God. Why our sons and daughters continue to fornicate and have illegitimate children. Where is the leadership of the church? Where is the outcry of the church saints? You know what happens is that anyone that does speak out on this and other spiritual issues gets attacked by the church people, instead of praised. The bible says that, “they loved the praise of men, more that the praise of God.” In an effort to keep the membership rolls and tithes coming in, the church has ignored God’s word. And we as believers go from church to church looking for a brand of religion that will allow us to continue sinning without anyone making us feel uncomfortable. Jesus said following Him would be uncomfortable.

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross daily and follow me”.
Luke 9:23

So in order to follow our example from God we should deny ourselves and our fleshly desires. We should take up our cross daily, that doesn’t sound comfortable to me. Instead of the black church preaching the kingdom of God, they are preaching the ministry of prosperity. This is in direct opposition to the teachings of Christ. For years, I have been waiting for a groundswell of condemnation of this epidemic of fornication gripping our community. There has been none forthcoming. We continue to turn a blind eye to this issue, not realizing that this issue is the source of so many other problems we face as a community. Rather than look at the true cause of the problem we look at the symptoms. Looking at the true cause of the problem is much more difficult for it requires us to look at ourselves. We cannot continue down this path, for we know what awaits us. It is as if we are all sitting in an airplane that is about to crash and everyone knows it and no one is saying a word. There is no outcry. We are pretending that everything is fine. I am here to tell you it is not all fine, the plane is crashing! The devil wants you to sit there and ignore it, but I can no longer do so. Wake up! Instead of God being your co-pilot, He needs to be your pilot.

Chapter 2 Part 3

Another epidemic caused by fornication is the abortion epidemic. This is becoming for some women a form of birth control. In the same sense that we have multiple illegitimate children, we have women having multiple abortions. How many times must I make the same mistake? It is an affluent answer to the results of fornication, the unwanted child. So rather, than stop the fornication, we will just kill the results. Well, I’m here to tell you the results are human lives that we are killing. God’s word says He knew us before we were formed in the womb. To me that says that I was a life before my being conceived in the sexual act. I do not condone blowing up abortion clinics or the like, but I do think that abortion is wrong. Because God gives us each free will to choose, I do not have the right to choose what is right or wrong for anyone else’s body. When the day of judgment comes we will appear before God alone . There will be no witnesses. I will stand or fall on my own actions.

Another epidemic of fornication is distance from God. The bible says that my sin separates me from God. God and sin can not be in the same place. As soon as Adam and Eve sinned, they had to be removed from the presence of God. Every year we have polls stating that over 90% of Americans believe in the existence of God. With all of our mega churches and religious polls we still lead the world in pornography, drug and alcohol addiction, percentage of population in prison, and abortions. How can this be? We have substituted a false religiousness in place of Godliness. The bible states that we will forget true holiness and replace it with our own perverted holiness. The bible states that all my righteousness is as filthy rags to God. With every passing day we are moving further and further from God. I am not talking about the public displays of religion that the false religious people love to tout. Placing the ten commandments on public display and making school children recite prayer in public schools. Would these things help our society? Maybe, but what would help more is our following these things privately, before we attempt to take them public. These things are just to make us feel like we are following God. God says don’t display them, follow them. Don’t pray in school, pray in your home in the closet. The bible says we are to publicly pronounce God, but privately we deny Him by our actions. If we did more praying at home and less in the public eye, we might make some progress in this war we fight.

“But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your
sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear you.”
Isaiah 59:2

“They profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being
abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.”
Titus 1:16

Chapter 2 Part 2

How many times have we seen movie stars, athletes, and other worldly entertainers leave the wives of their youths for the newest flavor of the month? We have to understand that our children see this unhealthy behavior and incorporate it for themselves. They think that it is ok to exchange women as if they were video games. The average marriage today lasts about seven years. That is of course out of those who even bother to get married. About fifty percent of all blacks from 24 – 44 are living in cohabitation arrangements and not marriage. Is it because marriage has changed? I don’t think so. It is because we have become a disposable society. If it is not making me happy, replace it. The bible talks often about joy and rarely about happiness. Why? Because happiness is a passing emotion. If I catch the light on my way to work I am happy, if I do not I am not happy. God says have joy, not happiness. Happiness is transient, but joy is eternal. In spite of our circumstances, we can have joy, not because of them.

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5

God wants us to have joy in His blessings not to pervert them.


“Therefore put to death your members which are on
the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion,
evil desires, and covetousness which is idolatry.”
Colossians 3:5

“..you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.
For I, the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and
forth generations of those who hate me.”
Exodus 20:5

The bible teaches that those who pursue idolatry (fornication) provoke God’s wrath because they are elevating something before God. God states over and over that He is a jealous God and will not tolerate anything that is placed before Him. We become preoccupied with our own selfish pleasure and ignore the long-term damage we do to ourselves. Idolatry may be strong language for some people, but we should look closely at what fornication says about those who practice it.

Today we are beginning to see the results of this epidemic of fornication. Instead of placing God’s laws and righteousness at the head of our lives, we have chosen our own selfish pleasure. This has created multiple victims from an act that is supposed to be victimless. How can this be you ask? Unfortunately, most practioners of fornication do not practice protected sex so we have an epidemic of new and more deadly strains of sexually transmitted diseases. We have an epidemic of illegitimate children. The term illegitimate is not even used anymore. We have replaced it with this new terminology of “baby’s momma” or “baby’s daddy. We treat illegitimacy as legitimacy. The bible says beware when you call evil good and good evil. I am not advocating ignoring or even punishing the fruit of these illicit relationships. I am saying love the sinner, but hate the sin. We should learn to hate sin the way God hates sin. He hated sin so much that only the sacrifice of His own Son could satisfy His disdain for sin. Today in our churches in an effort to keep or to gain members, we ignore this issue. Ministers do not speak out on it and so in keeping silent they are practicing sin by omission. Giving this lifestyle a green light. I have seen pastors having ceremonies to anoint these children. Again, we should love these innocent children, but acknowledge the wrong being done. Before forgiveness, is confession of sin. In most cases it is children having children. Everyone makes mistakes, but if I am a pastor with a congregation full of women that continue to have illegitimate children, maybe my message is not being made clear enough.

Chapter 2 Part 1 What Does God Say About It

What Does God Say About It


“Marriage is honorable for all, and the bed undefiled;
but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”.
Hebrews 13:4

It is God’s wish that those who cannot refrain from sex be at least married. That it is honorable and good. According to God there is no free sex or sex between consenting adults without commitment and marriage. Whenever two people have sex, the bible says that they become one flesh. I give her a part of myself and she gives me a part of herself. I think back on all the times I attempted to have “free sex” and afterwards there was always the desire to have more from one party or the other. There were always complications. In addition, do not let it have been good. I do not know how many of my affairs began as “casual sex”. I dare to venture that a great many marriages have been based on this same attitude. The terms “free sex”, “casual sex”, and “uncommitted sex” are not apart of God’s healthy plan for sexual pleasure for our lives. The laws of God were never designed to punish us, but to protect us. God’s laws concerning sexual misconduct were designed to prevent the spreading of disease, to promote the harmony and stability of the family, and the society as a whole. We have perverted the natural use of our bodies and the lovingkindness of God’s laws. We have elevated our own selfish pleasure over the authority of God. We know better than God what is best for us. So then, are we still under the laws of God? Some may argue we are under grace and not bound by the law. Some would say that God gave us sex to enjoy and that we do not have to follow those antiquated laws. Some would argue that since we no longer sacrifice animals those old rules do not apply. Let us see what Jesus Christ says.

“Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets.
I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.”
Matthew 5:17

Paul states that even though we are under grace we are still not to be fornicators or have sexual immorality. That it is in fact the will of God not to be partakers of such behavior, nor are we to hang out with such people. God desires that we pursue holiness. God calls us to avoid fornication. It is only by submitting and surrendering to God that we are able to overcome sin. The bible says that fornicators will have no inheritance in the kingdom of God. God takes fornication very seriously for a number of reasons that we will discuss in the next chapter.

“because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’”
1 Peter 1:16

“For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person,
nor covetous Man, who is an idolater, has any
inheritance in the kingdom Of Christ and God.”
Ephesians 5:5

Fornication replaces God’s healthy sexual plan for our lives with our own selfish unhealthy plan. I do not want anyone to think that I am advocating that we should not enjoy the God given pleasures of a healthy sexual relationship in God’s plan. God gave us this pleasure for a reason. If it were not there, I believe that men would stick with men and women would stick with women. I say this not in any sexual sense, but in a purely common sense way. Let us face it we do not share a lot in common. The things that men like to do most women do not and vice-versa. If we are honest with each other there are very few things, we enjoy together. This is not to say that there are not a lot of loving and caring male/female relationships where they share common interests, but as a whole men enjoy the company of men and women the company of women. It is not a right or wrong or good or bad thing, but merely a fact of nature. The way things are. If it were not for the “spark that God has given us for each other, I would venture to say that we would not have been as fruitful and multiplied to the place we are today. In the bible, God says He will put enmity between the male and female. However, by His grace and tender mercy, He has also left that attraction between us. That in spite of our seemingly total lack of commonality, we can still come together and procreate. If you think about it, it is amazing there are still people on the earth. The truth be told we are from two different worlds it seems at times. The point being that God wants us to enjoy our sexuality in a healthy and positive way. The problem with fornication is that it perverts God’s healthy plan. The bible says be content with the wife of your youth. With fornication, I not only do not have a wife of my youth, I am not content with any woman I am with. I lay down with multiple partners and have no commitment to anyone.

First Post

The purpose of this blog is to bring light to a subject that has remained in the dark for too long. While fornication is a terrible sin that touches millions of lives the focus of this book is to address how it has affected the black community in particular. For a generation the men in our community have chosen not to be under the authority of God and to lie down with any and everyone they choose. The result has been a generation of angry young men who have no respect for himself or anyone else for that matter. They routinely kill each other violently and sell poison to their parents. They are angry because when they needed a male parent there was no one there and the ones who were there were spiritually absent, through selfishness and negligence.

I realize that by writing this blog that I am opening myself up to those people who have political agendas on both sides of the spectrum. They will want to kill the messenger rather than hear the message. My whole life will be scrutinized. I will be accused of being everything from a tool of the "Right Wing" to an "Uncle Tom" and everything in between. Let me say first that I am no one. I have no degree in anything from anywhere. All I am is a broken man whom God has chosen to deliver a message. I seek no fame or glory for myself, only that the living God be glorified and honored. There will be those that say this is a private matter that does not need to be aired publicly. In light of the good will, being given for the recent hurricane Katrina catastrophe many will wonder about the timing. To that, I say, "Who can know the mind of God?"

Nevertheless, this issue has needed a public airing for sometime. No one will be able to impeach my being able to speak on this subject, but some will try. I am a twice-divorced black male, with three kids, a drug addicted alcoholic with a felony. God could not have picked a more unlikely messenger. I know that I will be ridiculed and derided. I have prayed that this burden be lifted from me, but no one can stop God's Divine Plan. I know from experience that if I do not do what God wills he will replace me. What I am going to write is not what someone told me, but what I have seen and know from experience. What God has revealed to me through my life and the lives of those close to me. I began discussing this issue with black men in Atlanta in the year 2001, getting their stories and insights. At the time I was working with a homeless mission that dealt primarily with the drug addicted, alcoholic men that had deserted their families and children. But as I began to research this subject with other men I realized that it wasn't just a drug and alcohol problem, but men who were working and not addicted to any particular substance were also deserting women and children. This thing has reached epidemic proportions and needs to be addressed.

If I accomplish nothing else, my hope is that we will at least begin the discussion. I hope that you who read this blog will do so with an open mind and believe that I write it out of love for all those angry children. They deserve better from all of us. Let us go forth and heal this people and this land. We serve a merciful God.

"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins
and their lawless deeds I will remember no more"
Hebrews 8:12

If we turn to Him, he will be faithful and just to forgive us to forgive and cleanse us. I hope you are able to see past the messenger to the message. After all, isn't that what is truly important? If my words are true then let them stand, if they be false then let them fall. For the truth stands by itself and supports itself.

"You will know the truth and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32

It is my hope that someone may read these words and turn from their sinful ways. That someone may decide to break the cycle that has enslaved us for so many years.

"Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns
him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his
way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins."
James 5:19-20

I look forward to comments as we move forward with this discussion. I believe it is one of the most serious issues we face as a nation and as a people. I will be posting excerpts from a book that I have written and hope to get published soon. Thank you for reading and participating. I hope we can begin the dialog that will heal our people.