Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

I recently was a part of an online discussion about abortion. I felt limited in how I could respond because it was not my blog and I didn’t feel it my place to fill up someone else’s space. However, after posting my comments I felt as though I had not expressed all or how I wanted to in that space at that time. So, I thought I would use this forum to complete my feelings concerning this very divisive issue.

First of all I want to state my opposition to abortion. I believe that it goes against the teachings of God and is a sin. Where it stacks up among other sins I do not know, but I base my feelings on the following passage from scripture:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before
you were born I sanctified you;
Jeremiah 1:5

With that said, I believe that everyone has choices in this world and it is not for me to make those choices for others. I believe that when we stand before the judgment seat of Christ there will be no witnesses called. God will not ask me what I thought about your decisions; it will be each one of us alone before God. We all must search our own hearts in making decisions and there are few if any decisions that are as overwhelming for many women as the decision to have an abortion. It is a decision that has plagued many women for the rest of their lives. Even those who have gone on to have successful full term pregnancies afterwards are haunted by that faithful decision. I am not here to cast stones at anyone, for I am no one to judge another. My only hope and desire is that those in this position will find the support, love, and the wisdom to make the right decision.

I have lost two babies to abortions in my life that I know about. In each case it was a heart wrenching experience for my partners at the time and myself. In each situation I protested vehemently against having the abortion, but again each of us is responsible for our own decisions. The issue that I don’t think most women understand is how the abortion affects a lot of men. Of course for the most part unfortunately it is the man promoting the abortion for various selfish reasons, but there are many of us who deeply feel the lost of our unborn. Of course in both cases there were plenty of reasons for having the procedures; we’re too young, we aren’t established, we’re not ready, my career, and etc. It is in my nature to see both sides of an argument and it makes a lot of my decisions real torment; I go back and forth. Being the man of course limited my being able to offer anything more than an opinion, which was torture in itself. I would be reduced to a mere spectator in the decision on whether to keep my unborn child. Women, if you don’t know that was one of the most powerful feelings of powerlessness I have ever had. It was so difficult to be supportive and yet have feelings of anger, frustration, and fear.

Because of my beliefs, it was more than just the life of my unborn child that troubled my spirit. It was also the soul of my partner that caused me great alarm; I worried for their eternal life. It is amazing to me how we waxed so poetically about our love for one another, yet many of us care absolutely nothing about the eternal destination of our partners. If I truly love someone shouldn’t I want to protect their eternal life as much as I want to protect their physical life? If I could avoid placing them in positions that could jeopardize their souls by controlling my selfish desires, shouldn’t I want to do it? Do I love that person more than I love myself? I think so many of us err in our choices for partners because we don’t do the homework, we don’t ask the right the questions. Some don’t ask the right questions because they don’t want to hear the answer they are going to receive.

The women in each of these cases were “good” women. They were loving, kind, and considerate. They both in my opinion would have made excellent mothers. I don’t think that either took their responsibilities lightly or the dreadful decision that they would have to make. In each case the process of deciding was torment for both of us. It took us to the brink of terminating our relationship and back again. In each case the relationship was never repaired to its previous state. In both cases I lost not only the unborn, but my partners as well. In each case the lost was devastating.

The point I want to stress is that today I realize if we had remained in the state that God had intended for us, these decisions would not have been necessary to make. The attending loss of trust and intimacy would have not been necessary. There are those who will say, “Or you could have used a condom, but that is really not the answer. This is not the answer for me because it is merely treating the symptom and not the underlying cause. I know today that God’s plan is the best plan for my life; He gives me instructions not to punish me but to protect me. I can never articulate the pain and anguish that my partners and I suffered during these times, nor do I believe that any single mothers can articulate the struggle of her life trying to raise children alone. I know that raising children with two parents is a herculean endeavor. I see the hardship daily in the lives of all the single mothers I encounter. I have never met a woman yet who did not continue to be haunted by their decision years later to have an abortion. If we want to avoid the results, we must avoid the cause. We must remain pure at all costs.

To those who have had to struggle and make that dreadful decision my heart goes out to you, because I too am bruised and hurt. I want you to know that there is no condemnation at the cross, there is forgiveness and reconciliation. Come to the “Healer” and be healed, there is no sin so bad that it will not be forgiven. I first must ask for that forgiveness.

Chapter 9, Part 7

Repent

“If My people who are called by my name will humble
themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from
their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and
forgive their sin and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14

What does repent mean? Repent is to feel bad enough about our behavior to want to change it. The Spirit of God convicts us and we acknowledge our true nature. We accept that in and of ourselves we can do no good thing. Meaning, if you are in a fornicating relationship, you stop it. You do not try to justify it, you give it up. All those who are living together move out and get their own places, until marriage. There are people who are going to read this and know that God has been convicting them deep in their spirits about this very thing. Because of your selfish desires you have ignored it. How can you claim to represent the Living God and be living like this and expecting God to bless this union. The scriptures say that you are crucifying Christ all over again and putting Him to shame.[1] Christ has already died for you, so that you may overcome this and every other sin. It is not anything that you have earned it is something you accept. It is already done; either you accept it or you do not. It is like the teaching Christ gave to the young rich man. He told him to sell all that he had period. He did not try to coax him or convince him, He simply stated it and allowed him to choose.[2] So it is with us the Spirit simply convicts us and then it is up to us to choose.

True repentance comes when the damage to our relationship to God bothers us more than the damage to our relationship to men. Make no mistake sin damages my relationship with God. It puts a cloud between God and me. I can be of no value to God if I am living in sin. Many Christians today believe that they can be unfaithful to God in some areas of their lives and faithful in others. As if obeying God is something you can negotiate. The scriptures say “I desire faithfulness, not sacrifice, says the LORD”.[3] We have this foolish belief that because God needs us or loves us that we can do whatever we want and He still has to use and keep us. This thinking fails to understand that it is not our efforts that accomplishes anything. Consider all the great efforts of man to end hunger in the world or poverty. How are those great plans working out? It is God who does the accomplishing.

We miss true repentance when all we become is remorseful for being caught or for having made stupid mistakes and feeling disgusted. There is a point in everyones life sinner or saint when we realize that we do not do sin, but that we are sin. That we are born into a sinful nature and it is only the redemptive work of Christ that allows us to stand before our Creator. None of our efforts produce redemption, not even being sorry for our actions. We should get over our proper goodness and see ourselves as God sees us. When that state is reached you will want to be the opposite of what you were, but again by the grace of God.

“Come now let us reason together, “says the LORD, though your
sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they
are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If you are willing
and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.”
Isaiah 1:18

As the scripture says, God would like nothing better than to forgive us our sins and to renew His fellowship relationship with us. All He ask is that we acknowledge, confess, repent, and become willing to obey His Word. This deadly spiral that we are on can only be broken by the power of God. Only by the Spirit of God is sin overcome, we are not able to resist without help. This sin is so ingrained now in our culture and daily lives that only by the power of God will it end. So entrenched is the sin of fornication in our culture that we no longer even think twice when we hear of people living together without the benefit of marriage or when we see young unwed women with multiple children from different men. It has become commonplace in our community and there are few voices decrying this situation. Only God can forgive sin and renew our covenant relationship with Him. The Bible says, “that all of our righteousness is as filthy rags to God”.[4][5] We of ourselves cannot save ourselves, therefore all of our trust and faith must be in Christ. As Job stated, “I know that my redeemer lives and that in the end, He will stand on the earth.”

Repentance is the cornerstone of the Christian faith. Throughout the teachings of Christ, the message was and to this day continues to be repent and receive the Kingdom of God.[6] Our repentance is completed when we acknowledge what God through Christ Jesus has done for us. Someone died in our place pure and simple and God wants us to acknowledge that fact and not skirt around the issue. We are not to believe that we were innocent or that our behavior was not that bad, but that someone took our place on the sacrificial altar. So much of the world’s daily message is in denying and refuting this simple fact. If we accept what God has done, there comes a responsibility. We should change, we must repent. God’s saving grace only makes sense in that He is able to take an evil man and change him into a righteous man. It makes no sense in the circumstance of taking an almost righteous or a good man and making him better.

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[1] Hebrews 5:6

[2] Mark 10:21

[3] Hosea 6:6

[4] Isaiah 64:6

[5] Job 19:25

[6] Matthew 4:17