Fornication and Role Models

But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Luke 12:48

The following is a list of athletes and the number of illegitimate children they have fathered. I tried to locate a list of actors and politicians, but it appears athletes are the only ones anyone cares enough about to create a list for.

ATHLETES WITH ILLEGITIMATE KIDS

THE HEAVYWEIGHTS
Shawn Kemp - 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women. Gives his nickname of the Reign Man new meaning.
Evander Holyfield - 9 illegitimate kids. "Heck I'm not even mad, I'm impressed!"
Ex-San Antonio Spur Willie Anderson - 9 illegitimate kids. If only his field goal percentage had been as high as his impregnation rate.
Derrick Thomas - 7 illegitimate kids by 5 women. He died at 33. Let's just leave it at that.
Ray Charles - Not an athlete, but still had 9 illegitimate kids and 12 total, which is quite impressive. Being blind must have made it tough to get that condom on.
UPDATE: Don't know how we missed this - thanks to a reader for pointing this out to us - Calvin Murphy reportedly had 14 illegitimate kids by 9 women. Wow.

THE MIDDLEWEIGHTS
Larry Johnson - 5 kids by 4 women. 3 are illegitimate.
Santonio Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids by two women, before leaving college.
Former Celtic Greg Minor - 3 illegitimate kids.
Ricky Williams - 3 illegitimate kids. Maybe that's why he smokes so much weed.
Priest Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids. You best keep running Priest.

THE LIGHTNING FAST GROUP
Willis McGahee - 3 illegitimate kids in 2 years in Buffalo. Not a lot to do in Buffalo, except make babies. Lots and lots of babies.

THE GUYS YOU WOULDN'T EXPECT GROUP
Walter Herrmann
Peja Stojakovic
Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan
NHL player Daniel Alfredsson
NHL player Richard Zednik
Mike Miller

THE FAMOUS OLD GUYS GROUP
Steve Garvey - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
Dr. J - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
Larry Bird
Isiah Thomas
Jim Palmer
Pete Rose

THE GETTING A HEAD START GROUP
Gary Sheffield - Had 2 illegitimate kids by age 17. Added a few more later on in life.

THE THAT'S JUST WRONG GROUP
Elijah Dukes - recently impregnated a 17-year-old foster child.

THE QB KIDS GROUP
Matt Leinart - already has one, my guess is he's working hard on another.
Tom Brady - his is on the way.

GUYS WITH AT LEAST ONE ILLEGITIMATE KID
Antawn Jamison
Chipper Jones
DeShawn Stevenson
Cliff Floyd
Mark Messier
Brian Urlacher
Rae Carruth - Yes, he fathered an illegitimate kid before the incident where he had his pregnant girlfriend gunned down.
Oscar De La Hoya
Juan Gonzalez
Andre Rison
David Justice
Alonzo Spellman
Dave Meggett
Gary Payton - If the glove doesn't fit...
Stephon Marbury
Jason Kidd
Allen Iverson
Latrell Sprewell
Juwan Howard
Kenny Anderson
Scottie Pippen
Hakeem Olajuwon
Patrick Ewing
Randy Johnson - by reader request. We missed him.

This is just wrong. It is behavior like this that some say further reinforces the idea that “stars” are above the rules. If that were only true, the truth of the matter is that this is just a reflection of our society as a whole. These men are not in some isolated environment, but are merely acting out the same mores of the society. We as a community and as a nation have come to the place where we accept fornication as a way of life. We have lost the power to control our bodies, as if they were no longer connected to our brains, but a separate entity that does what it wants. I don’t believe that this is the way God intended for us to live. God did not intend for us to be slaves of our passions, but to be in control of them. Does this mean that we will live perfect lives? No, but it does mean that it is our duty to bring our minds and our lives under the obedience of Christ.[1] The apostle Paul writes, “It is our reasonable service”, to present ourselves as living sacrifices.[2]

The problem today is so many modern Christians say to God, “Oh God I will follow you and I will believe in you, so long as I can continue doing the mess I am doing.” They want to be Christians with no sacrifice. They want to continue living the way they want to, fornicating, gambling, lying, and cheating. Being a Christian is simple, but it is not easy. It requires that certain things I want to do, I can’t do. Not because they are forbidden by the law, but because they are no longer who I am. When the Holy Spirit truly abides in someone their behavior changes, they no longer want to do the things they use to do. Their desires change and reflect the desires of the Father, no longer seeking selfish pleasure.

I don’t fault these men, they are just men. But as a parent I realize that it is up to me to be the role model for my children, to teach them what is expected of a man in the sight of God. The message of what a man is supposed to be was perverted for me; I don’t want my children to get that same perverted message. I cannot allow the world to define what I am or what my children will become. Our society, especially in the Black community is being given these images that are direct opposition to what God desires for us to be. Our sons have been sold this “thug life” garbage and our daughters have been reduced to nothing more than faceless sex objects. Where is the outcry? It has become so common for our young women to have children out of wedlock that we don’t even think twice about it anymore. Getting married has become the unusual situation and fornication the norm. It is time we reverse this trend. But it has to begin with us as Black men getting back under the authority of God. A man first and most important job when he becomes married is to save his household. Men, let’s save our homes and our families…

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[1] 2 Corinthians 10:5

[2] Romans 12:1

Chapter 7 Part 7

There are many of you who feel like you are in unbearable situations at home and you feel unloved and unwanted. For some of you those who are suppose to be protecting you are pressuring you to defile yourselves with them. And unfortunately for some your purity has been taken by these very same "protectors". Nothing could be further from the truth, you are beautiful and precious to God. Your heavenly Father knows your situation, He knows your pain. You may feel alone, but you are not. There are people who love you very much, especially God. Do not surrender to the tricks of the enemy. He will lie to you and tell you that you are worthless and nobody cares about you. There is no reason to stay pure, and besides everyone else is doing it. The world screams why should you be any different. Don’t you want to be popular and fit in? You are nothing special; if you want to belong, you need to defile yourself. This is your only worth; you are nothing more than a body to give for the pleasure of others. Well, you are special, you are one of our most important assets. The future of our people is in you.

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth.
I did not come to bring peace but a sword, for I
have come to set a man against his father, a
daughter against her mother, and a
daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
Matthew 10:34,35

The Lord tells us that we must choose ourselves to follow Him. This means that if your family is not choosing to serve God, you serve Him anyway. If they are not going to church and obeying God, you do it anyway. Go with the neighbors or talk to a pastor, God will place people in your life for you to find Him through. Though you may only be children you are still responsible to follow God. Seek God in your lives and He will make His presence known. Many churches have youth outreach programs. Begin at home by developing a relationship with God privately. As I wrote to the young men spend fifteen minutes a day seeking God and your life will change. He will lead you through whatever situation that may appear impossible for you. With God all things are possible, nothing is impossible for Him. The Bible says that if you draw near to God He will draw near to you.[1] This world is dying every day, you do not have to die with it. Young people you have a tremendous struggle ahead of you, but with God’s help you can accomplish anything! Sometimes following God will be difficult, but the rewards are worth the effort. You will be a better person and your life will be better for it.

Marriage is God’s perfect outlet for our sexual desires. To look at the world you would not be able to tell. Our whole culture screams sex, sex, and more sex and there is hardly a dissenting voice. Many of the same people who preach abstinence are the same people who own the media outlets that promote this casual sexual atmosphere. They are hypocrites and God will judge them. It is unfortunate but for the sake of material riches you the youth of our nation have become expendable. You are bought and sold daily. On the one hand it appears that you have value, but underneath you are only a profit margin. The enemy makes it look like your opinions are important, but only in how he can corrupt you. The whole world is becoming a commercial, a slogan. The world is not some office on “Madison Avenue”. There is a God and He will give to everyone according to their choices.[2] I am not trying to frighten anyone only trying to give you the truth. There must be a change for our people and it must begin with you. Choose purity and choose life. Do not believe the lies of this world, it does matter that you remain pure. You will feel better about yourselves and the world around you. Everywhere you turn it is about sex, the world would like for you to believe that it is no big deal. It is not important if you stay pure, it is some old-fashioned thinking. Talk to your parents and grandparents the world told them the same thing years ago. But it is important, your future will be determined by your choices. You only have one chance to be with the one you love in a loving marriage with purity of body, heart, and spirit. It is no wonder so many of our marriages do not last we come into them defiled. Do not waste it away without thinking.

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[1] James 4:8

[2] Matthew 16:27

Chapter 5 Part 1 Men

Chapter 5 - Men

“But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ,
The head of every woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
1 Corinthians 11:3

In God’s perfect will and plan for male and female relationships there is a hierarchy. Just as there is a hierarchy in heaven so there is one on the earth. In this hierarchy everyone is under authority, everyone! Because men are the head of the woman, I am going to start with the men. I can already hear the feminist and the humanist rage. In addition, of course there will be others who will object to this hierarchy for various reasons. However it is not my hierarchy, it is God’s. Please forward all complaints to 1-800-CALLGOD and you can argue with God. In our zeal to be politically correct, we have tried to ignore it, but it is to our peril if we do. In God’s perfect plan, the hierarchy is as follows:

GOD
Christ Jesus
Holy Spirit
Man
Woman

Child

This will undoubtedly set off a firestorm of controversy. In this society, anyone who questions the status of women or questions the right of a woman to have everything her way is immediately labeled a chauvinist male. The thing about God and His word is that our belief is not required. God’s divine plan continues whether I believe it or not. Because of our position, the bulk of responsibility falls on the man for this deadly sin of fornication.

In the last few generations, many black men in our communities have been fornicators. Many have chosen to lie down with anybody and everybody without concern for the consequences. It has not only been the poor, uneducated, drug/alcohol addicted practicing this awful sin. It has been lawyers, bankers, and police officers. Also included in this are politicians, community and church leaders, as well as professional athletes and entertainers. It seems that no one professional or otherwise is immune to this epidemic. Why has this been such a large-scale problem? Is it because of our background of slavery in this country? Some say it’s our heritage of polygamy carried over from Africa. Which is false, because Africa has had a rich heritage of Christian teaching and life. In my opinion, it is our deliberate and rebellious sin against God; plain and simple. For whatever reason many have decided, they are no longer under God’s authority. Many of our people have lost their fear of God. Many have chosen to go their own way, no longer being concerned with what God says.

“There is no fear of God before his eyes, when
he finds Out his iniquity and when he hates.

For he flatters Himself in his own eyes.”

Psalm 36:1,2

We have flattered ourselves with how slick and cool we are. However, it has not always been this way. There was a time in our history when men were leading the way, when men had a healthy fear of God. What does it mean to fear God? The fear in the Bible has been translated to mean to be in “awe” or “respect”. How can we not be in awe of God? How can any man look around and not recognize what God has done. I would rather believe in a dream (there is a God) than what I know is a lie (I am God). Who among us can add one inch to his height? Let alone create mountains, oceans, or make the sun rise and set. I am in awe of God for what He has done. It is amazing to me how we have no trouble acknowledging the fear we have of other men, but fear God! It seems that when our plight in this country was at its worst our men cried out to God and He answered.

There was no place else to turn then. Our “so called” Christian brothers were enslaving us and refusing to acknowledge our humanity. What they did not understand or accept is that in God’s hierarchy no man is more human than another man. In theology, two terms help us to distinguish the authority of things versus order of things. These words are nature and order. We humans are all the same nature. We all possess what Paul referred to as the “flesh of men”. However, we do not share the same order. The president of a company has authority over the vice-president, but they share the same nature. The one is not the president because he is more human than the vice-president. Therefore, no man is better than the woman, but his order is different. It is amazing that as our plight in this country has improved, our reliance on God has decreased. As we have become more affluent in this society, we have grown further away from God. The less we had the more we relied on God. This is not just the black man’s plight; it is this way with our society as a whole. This is not to say that we have achieved parity with the majority society, on the contrary. It just shows how little it took us to be drawn away from God, by Satan. In a short period, we have seen some black men rise to great heights in the business, sports, political, and entertainment worlds. There is still a long way to go, but if after these small gains, we have forgotten God how much more do you think God will be willing to allow.

“Better is a little with the fear of the Lord,
than great treasure with trouble.”
Psalms 15:16

We are more materially prosperous than at any point in our history in this country. Yet, in our prosperity, we have lost something. We have lost our spirituality. There are those who would say that we are still poor in this society, but even the poor in our society enjoy many things the poor in other countries dream about. Christ Jesus told us in the “beatitudes”, blessed are the poor in spirit. The problem with most of our “so called” Christians is they do not believe that being poor is a blessing. They say, “That’s really not what He meant.” It seems straightforward to me that is what He said. It is a fact the more abundant our resources the less we depend on God. The Bible speaks about the difficulty of the rich getting into the kingdom of heaven. The problem with most of us is that we look at our wealth in relation to those around us. We see so much conspicuous consumption in our society from the television that we think we are poor. However, if you were to look at the poor in say South America, Central America, or Africa, that is real poverty. We have “so called poor in our country wearing a hundred dollar sneakers. The fact is we are not poor; we just do not have all we desire. When your very survival is a day-to-day ordeal, you rely on God. You know that it is only by His grace that you make it another day. The old saints knew not only where their eternal salvation came from, but also their daily bread. This generation of man has decided that relying on God is no longer necessary. Let the women go to church. Let the women raise the children alone with no support, financial or otherwise. What we do not realize is that by not submitting ourselves to God, we are throwing the whole hierarchy of God out of balance. The first list illustrates God’s hierarchy and the second list is how we have corrupted that hierarchy.

GOD
Christ Jesus
Holy Spirit
Man
Woman
Child

Man
GOD
Christ Jesus
Holy Spirit
Woman
Child

By having our women go to church alone, we have left women and children under God’s authority. They are under God’s authority, but not under the covering of a man as God intended. I was recnetly engaged to be married and I told my fiancé that I needed to cover her and she did not understand what I meant. After I put the ring on her finger, she realized what I was saying. The ring said more to other people than she ever could. By me giving her that ring, it showed the world that she had a man that loved her enough to make a commitment for life to her. Many people have no respect for the sanctity of relationships, let alone marriage. By covering the woman I love, I send the men who would not respect our relationship a loud and clear message that she is loved. Not only the woman should be covered but the children as well. Most predators are looking for an easy target; just the physical presence of a man can deter a lot of this behavior. We are the ones outside of God’s authority. Notice the only ones who have the same position in both diagrams are the women and children. God will not allow anyone authority over anyone or anything who is not under authority themselves.

“You could have no power against Me unless
it had been given you from above.”
John 19:11

Therefore, we see that God gives the authority even in this world. Here is the key; God loves those women and children just as much as He loves you. He will not allow us authority over them when we are running around engulfed in sin. That is why we have no authority in our homes and our women refuse to submit to us. Why should they? Who in their right mind would submit to a lost little boy? The way we have been living has not been as men, but as little boys. Little boys only care about themselves and their own selfish pleasures. The world taught me that a man was: a drinker, drug addict, fornicator, an adulterer, stays out all night, and answered to no one. What I have since learned is that I was being a fool. Two marriages and countless relationships later, it finally dawned on me how foolish I was. Today I know that a man takes care of his responsibilities. He gets a job, wakes up and goes to that job. A man loves and takes care of his family, especially his children. A man not only makes babies, but he raises them as well. How can we claim to love our children and yet we do not provide for their needs? We have not behaved as men, and now we are reaping the fruit of that childish behavior.