Fornication and Role Models

But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Luke 12:48

The following is a list of athletes and the number of illegitimate children they have fathered. I tried to locate a list of actors and politicians, but it appears athletes are the only ones anyone cares enough about to create a list for.

ATHLETES WITH ILLEGITIMATE KIDS

THE HEAVYWEIGHTS
Shawn Kemp - 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women. Gives his nickname of the Reign Man new meaning.
Evander Holyfield - 9 illegitimate kids. "Heck I'm not even mad, I'm impressed!"
Ex-San Antonio Spur Willie Anderson - 9 illegitimate kids. If only his field goal percentage had been as high as his impregnation rate.
Derrick Thomas - 7 illegitimate kids by 5 women. He died at 33. Let's just leave it at that.
Ray Charles - Not an athlete, but still had 9 illegitimate kids and 12 total, which is quite impressive. Being blind must have made it tough to get that condom on.
UPDATE: Don't know how we missed this - thanks to a reader for pointing this out to us - Calvin Murphy reportedly had 14 illegitimate kids by 9 women. Wow.

THE MIDDLEWEIGHTS
Larry Johnson - 5 kids by 4 women. 3 are illegitimate.
Santonio Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids by two women, before leaving college.
Former Celtic Greg Minor - 3 illegitimate kids.
Ricky Williams - 3 illegitimate kids. Maybe that's why he smokes so much weed.
Priest Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids. You best keep running Priest.

THE LIGHTNING FAST GROUP
Willis McGahee - 3 illegitimate kids in 2 years in Buffalo. Not a lot to do in Buffalo, except make babies. Lots and lots of babies.

THE GUYS YOU WOULDN'T EXPECT GROUP
Walter Herrmann
Peja Stojakovic
Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan
NHL player Daniel Alfredsson
NHL player Richard Zednik
Mike Miller

THE FAMOUS OLD GUYS GROUP
Steve Garvey - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
Dr. J - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
Larry Bird
Isiah Thomas
Jim Palmer
Pete Rose

THE GETTING A HEAD START GROUP
Gary Sheffield - Had 2 illegitimate kids by age 17. Added a few more later on in life.

THE THAT'S JUST WRONG GROUP
Elijah Dukes - recently impregnated a 17-year-old foster child.

THE QB KIDS GROUP
Matt Leinart - already has one, my guess is he's working hard on another.
Tom Brady - his is on the way.

GUYS WITH AT LEAST ONE ILLEGITIMATE KID
Antawn Jamison
Chipper Jones
DeShawn Stevenson
Cliff Floyd
Mark Messier
Brian Urlacher
Rae Carruth - Yes, he fathered an illegitimate kid before the incident where he had his pregnant girlfriend gunned down.
Oscar De La Hoya
Juan Gonzalez
Andre Rison
David Justice
Alonzo Spellman
Dave Meggett
Gary Payton - If the glove doesn't fit...
Stephon Marbury
Jason Kidd
Allen Iverson
Latrell Sprewell
Juwan Howard
Kenny Anderson
Scottie Pippen
Hakeem Olajuwon
Patrick Ewing
Randy Johnson - by reader request. We missed him.

This is just wrong. It is behavior like this that some say further reinforces the idea that “stars” are above the rules. If that were only true, the truth of the matter is that this is just a reflection of our society as a whole. These men are not in some isolated environment, but are merely acting out the same mores of the society. We as a community and as a nation have come to the place where we accept fornication as a way of life. We have lost the power to control our bodies, as if they were no longer connected to our brains, but a separate entity that does what it wants. I don’t believe that this is the way God intended for us to live. God did not intend for us to be slaves of our passions, but to be in control of them. Does this mean that we will live perfect lives? No, but it does mean that it is our duty to bring our minds and our lives under the obedience of Christ.[1] The apostle Paul writes, “It is our reasonable service”, to present ourselves as living sacrifices.[2]

The problem today is so many modern Christians say to God, “Oh God I will follow you and I will believe in you, so long as I can continue doing the mess I am doing.” They want to be Christians with no sacrifice. They want to continue living the way they want to, fornicating, gambling, lying, and cheating. Being a Christian is simple, but it is not easy. It requires that certain things I want to do, I can’t do. Not because they are forbidden by the law, but because they are no longer who I am. When the Holy Spirit truly abides in someone their behavior changes, they no longer want to do the things they use to do. Their desires change and reflect the desires of the Father, no longer seeking selfish pleasure.

I don’t fault these men, they are just men. But as a parent I realize that it is up to me to be the role model for my children, to teach them what is expected of a man in the sight of God. The message of what a man is supposed to be was perverted for me; I don’t want my children to get that same perverted message. I cannot allow the world to define what I am or what my children will become. Our society, especially in the Black community is being given these images that are direct opposition to what God desires for us to be. Our sons have been sold this “thug life” garbage and our daughters have been reduced to nothing more than faceless sex objects. Where is the outcry? It has become so common for our young women to have children out of wedlock that we don’t even think twice about it anymore. Getting married has become the unusual situation and fornication the norm. It is time we reverse this trend. But it has to begin with us as Black men getting back under the authority of God. A man first and most important job when he becomes married is to save his household. Men, let’s save our homes and our families…

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[1] 2 Corinthians 10:5

[2] Romans 12:1

Chapter 9, Part 6

Confession Of Sin

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive
us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:19

Confession of our sinfulness is a must to overcome this epidemic. Those who have given themselves over to fornication must confess their sinfulness and return to the teachings and authority of Christ. Let those who have sinned, stop sinning. Is there any doubt that fornication is a sin? So why do we continue in sin that grace may abound.[1] God forbid. We who are saved are supposed to be dead to sin, dead to the old man or woman. We are supposed to be new creations.[2] Yet we keep sinning. Why do we keep giving the old man CPR? We keep him on life support again and again. The Word says if I come before God and confess I will be not only forgiven, but also cleansed.

In confessing our sinfulness to God, the first thing we have to understand is that our confessions are not for God. The scriptures say that the “eyes of the LORD” are in every place and they see everything.[3] So why do I need to confess what God already knows? No. So some would ask why we need to confess at all. God already knows everything. The confession process is to help increase our faith relationship with God. Who we trust we confess our secrets to. If we do not trust someone, we do not tell them our secrets. We do not confide in strangers. For many people that is their relationship with God, they are strangers. They may know the Word of God, but they do not know God. As our relationship with God increases He begins to convict us of our sins on a deeper level. This forces us to do one of two things: either we run away in shame and continue to sin or we run to God and confess our sinfulness.

Confession also begins the process of transfer of trust from ourselves to God. As we trust more and more in God our willingness to hide from Him who we are diminishes; as if I could hide from Him anyway.[4] If we are to follow and obey God, we should start trusting in Him. We must become as little children. I often use the example of a parent leading a small child across a busy highway, the child will not question the wisdom of the parent even if they do not understand the situation. Though there are cars speeding by, the child will rely on and trust the parent. This is the type of faith that God is desiring from us. To offer Him blind faith. Why we as humans feel entitled to an explanation from God is beyond my comprehension. It is as if Gods every little movement must be run past us for our approval or acceptance. This blind faith only comes from total faith and trust in God.[5] Remember Jesus Christ told Peter, “What is that to you? You follow Me.”[6] We do not get to ask questions, we only get to follow if we choose.

“He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever
confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”
Proverbs 28:13

Finally confession begins the practice of loosening the hold of the “old man”. As long as we pretend we have no sins, we stay bound to the dead man. None of our ventures will succeed with this attitude. No matter how much we plan, or how smart we think we are it all comes to nothing. The reason it is so difficult to let go of the dead man is that so much of us is entwined in him. He was who we were for so long. If we acknowledge his failures, we acknowledge our reliance on ourselves is a failure. If we have not allowed God to create a new man to replace him, where do we go? If we are still in the old man when he dies we die. By coming to God in confession we begin the change of the old to the new. The old man held all of our secrets, all of our sins. The things we were going to take to the grave. As we confess these deep dark secrets and sins the hold of the old man is loosened little by little. The thing about God is that He only reveals what we can handle at that time, He never gives us too much. Why must I die to the old man before I can take up the new man? Because we only have one spirit and that spirit cannot be in two places. We have to choose where we put it, where we put our trust. The reason many of us do not change is because we do not trust in the new man. The old man (life) may be messed up, but we at least have life, we know that life. Without faith in the resurrecting power of God we do not think there will be a new life. And let’s face it who among us really wants to die? I say to live, you must die. There can be no resurrection until someone dies. We want to go to heaven, yet we do not want to die. Christ says we must be born again, that means something has died.[7] Do not be afraid to die little ones for our God is more than able to raise us up as He raised up Christ. In order for us to overcome this sinful epidemic we must all confess and be born again. We must all die to our past lives.

True confession comes from conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit. It is not by being troubled by the uneasiness of being reminded of the wrong I have done. It is a deep sense of remorse not towards my fellow man, but towards God. The psalmist declares, “Against You, and You only have I sinned.”[8] Are we responsible for the damage we do to our brothers? Of course, we are but it is the damage to our relationship to God that should trouble us the most. That relationship is our saving grace. It is more important than anything else we do in the Father’s name.

Confession begins the development of bringing that relationship with the Father back into its proper place. Before there can be repentance and forgiveness there must be confession. We must clean the slate and begin our relationship with God anew. God has done His part by providing the propitiation for our sins in Christ Jesus to bring our relationship back to its right state. Our work begins by acknowledging the fact that we needed a propitiation for our sins or that we are sinners. If we have committed no sin then there is no need for confession or redemption. Through conviction of the Holy Spirit confession is made to salvation.[9] I pray that the Holy Spirit may convict you of your sinfulness, that you heed the Word, and that you confess the Lord Jesus Christ.

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[1] Romans 6:11

[2] 1 Corinthians

[3] Proverbs

[4] Psalm 139:7,8

[5] Genesis 18:17

[6] John 21:22

[7] John 3:3

[8] Psalms 51:4

[9] Romans 10:10

Chapter 8 Part 3

Has fornication produced millions of mitigating circumstances? Of course it has and each and everyone of them are precious and of value to God. Nevertheless, this continual sinning against God must be halted. What kingdom is being preached that allows its citizens to blatantly break its laws. Do any of our churches preach that their members should blatantly disobey the laws of this country? Why then is it all right to preach that we can disobey the laws of God’s Kingdom? When Christ healed the afflicted his command to them was to go and sin no more.[1] Is that your message as a disciple of Christ? Part of God’s plan of salvation is the condemnation and repentance from sin. If every year you are blessing another fatherless child out of wedlock from the same mother, what then is your message? The apostle Paul says in his letter to the Corinthians, that sin must be addressed.[2] Today we have church leaders openly preaching fornication, openly promoting young people living together out of wedlock, and elevating persons involved in these immoral relationships to positions of authority in the church. Just because our culture of today promotes this behavior as healthy and normal does not excuse the church from its responsibility to stand for God’s law no matter what the world says. The modern church should remember that it is through spirituality that we affect the world. It is through these spiritual gifts that God blesses the Church and through the Church the world. If the Church were to harness those gifts God has provided and through the power of the Holy Spirit utilizes them this world would be truly changed for the better.

Today just like almost 2000 years ago the gift of tongues appears to cause controversy for the church, especially in the black Church. Because of its being the focal point of the worship service in many churches, other gifts tend to suffer. The apostle Paul says the gift that should be developed and emphasized is prophesy. Which is the ability to explain and speak on the Scriptures, to use the Word of God to bring comfort, lifting up, and encouraging the listener. If there were more emphasis on that gift maybe, there would be more emphasis on the Word of God and also, on it’s ability to help a fallen world.

“For the love of money is the root of all kinds
of evil, for which some have strayed from the
faith in their greediness and pierced themselves
through with many sorrows.”
1 Timothy 6:10

There is a false doctrine being promoted by many preachers, it is known as the ministry of prosperity. It is a direct contradiction to the Word of God. It says that God wants everyone to be rich, resembling the preachers promoting it. The scriptures speak of knowing a tree by the fruit it bears. You know that these shepherds are incorrect because they are more interested in the wool from the sheep and not the sheep themselves. These ministers are more concerned about prospering their members than saving them. What shall they give in exchange for their souls? Instead of preaching the true gospel of Christ, they preach the gospel of the world. You have many of these mega churches and televangelists preaching prosperity and not the commandments of God. They seem unconcerned with how the sheep are living as long as they continue to produce wool.

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[1] Matthew

[2] 1 Corinthians 5:5

Chapter 5, Part 3

“For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure
through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who
have actually escaped from those who live in error.”
2 Peter 2:18

Many men are like wolves in sheep’s clothing. They approach with words of endearment that have no meaning. They are empty promises designed to destroy and not to encourage. They play on the desire to be wanted by all humans. They attack a woman’s vanity and use it against her. They deliberately mislead and connive the unsuspecting women into a false sense of security and hope. Only to pull the curtain down when they have achieved their goals. They use any and every method at their disposal to overcome the obstacles to their desired end. That end of course being their own selfish pleasure. The Bible says those being attacked are newly removed from sinful pasts. The same women who are being misled are the same sisters standing up in church during the altar calls professing the lordship of Christ Jesus. That lordship should begin to be realized in a person’s life, in how we live. How long do you think the shepherd will allow His sheep to be treated this way? Remember they are still technically under authority, many men are not. Eventually, the good and faithful shepherd will come to the aid of His fallen sheep. Woe to those wolves who are found to have been misleading His flock.

Many brothers have gravely erred in their conduct and thoughts. They have mistaken God’s patience for indifference, His kindness for weakness. Do not be fooled, God at His appointed time will unleash His wrath upon those who are disobedient. We must discontinue this utter lack of respect for God and His Word. We should repent as a people beginning with us, the men. We cannot continue to deny the authority of God and bring accusations against Him. This false pride must cease. This attitude of being bulletproof, it may work on the streets, but it does not carry with God. How much longer will we continue not to see the futility of our actions? Our lives are continuing to get worse. Our children and our family’s lives are getting worse. There is still time to step back from the abyss. We are on the path to destruction. All we like sheep have gone astray.[1]

“and especially those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of
uncleanness and despise authority. They are presumptuous, self-willed.
They are not afraid to speak evil of dignitaries,
whereas angels, who are greater in power and might, do not bring a
reviling accusation against them before the LORD.
but these like natural brute beasts made to be caught and
destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will
utterly perish in their own corruption,
and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who
count pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and
blemishes, carousing in their deceptions while they feast with you.
having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin,
enticing unstable souls and are accursed children.”
2 Peter 2:10-14

It is amazing to me how this was written two thousand years ago and yet it captures what is happening in our communities. We have turned fleshly pleasure and desire into a god that we are sacrificing our souls to. However, we are not just sacrificing our souls, but the children’s souls as well. Our hearts are “trained” in sinfulness, not in righteousness. Our only faith is in ourselves and whatever paltry pleasure we can derive at the expense of others. The problem with sexual sin is that it keeps taking more and more to get us excited. The more women we are with the more women we lust after. We have debased our women and perverted ourselves.

The future for us in this condition is not a pleasant one to look forward to. Our communities will continue to deteriorate. Our children will continue to be cut down by each other or the police. There will be a growing chasm of dissension between us as a people. There will be no unity amongst us. We as a people will continue to be disrespected and scorned. New plagues of drugs and crimes will come upon us. Parents will stop caring for their children. Our hearts will begin to wax cold towards one another. Children will lose their love and respect for their parents. Our best and brightest young people will fall prey to destruction. Fornication and sinfulness will rule our lives and our hearts. Unless the Lord was to have mercy, it would be our destruction. The Lord will keep a remnant for himself, a humble and faithful people who will love and obey Him.

These things are to wake us up to our deliberate sinfulness before God, to cause us to repent and forsake this terrible sin. How can we not see the damage this epidemic has and is causing to our people? It all begins with the men, there has to be a revival, as we have never seen. As a people, our biggest enemy is our attitude towards fornication and sexual sin. It cannot be ignored any longer. We as a people need to take action or it will destroy us. The time is at hand for every man to seek God while He may be found.[2] God has shown us the problem, are we willing to do the solution? Are we even willing to acknowledge that there is a problem? For our sakes, I hope so. In order to begin to solve a problem, we must acknowledge there is a problem.

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and
especially for those of his household, he has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
I Timothy 5:18

How can we as “so called” men make babies and not be responsible for them. No other creature on the face of the earth does that. How can you not provide for what is yours? These are not some orphans in a far off country; these children are our flesh and blood. How can you enjoy anything knowing that you have children suffering somewhere? Fornication is one of the most selfish and self-centered of all sins. All that matters is my gratification, my pleasure. It is interesting that when women get a man who has children from a previous relationship that he is not supporting, they have children by this same man. News flash, if a man has deserted his children from a previous relationship, he is going to desert the ones he has with you! These women will not only have children from this man, but will also defend this man against the women he has already deserted. Of course, in the end they find out what the other woman already knew and tried to tell her. This is not about “hating” on other men, it is about loving my people and especially those broken children already here and those yet to come. What self respecting man will not take care of defenseless children or will steal from his flesh and blood? A man is supposed to support and leave an inheritance to his children. We pretend they do not exist and then wonder why they are angry and in pain. We leave them to grow up thinking that their father does not love them. The pain of this is devastating to a child. Men it must and will stop one way or the other.

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[1] Isaiah 53:6

[2] Isaiah 55:6