Boys Town 2007 Part 2

Hear, my children, the instruction of a father,
And give attention to know understanding;
For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law.
Proverbs 4:1-2

Now that we have gotten over the shock phase, let’s look at how we would create these schools. Let me say for the record that it is my firm belief that children of all races and economic status do better with both parents in the home, most studies will attest to this fact. So I am not advocating the complete isolation of the young men from all female contact, this would be just the other side of the same coin we have now. We would replace young men who have the emotional state of women with young men that would not be able to display compassion or tenderness.

Let’s begin with how we would house the young men. I think the school housing should be done as a two parent home. The homes would have house parents that would supervise the homes and the young men when they are not in school, physical training, and or other curricular activities. Preferably the couple would be a married couple, but that would not be a necessity. A married couple would help to teach the young men in a real world scenario how a man treats a woman he loves and it is a statistical fact that children from two parent homes do better than those from single parent homes.

An increase in the numbers and proportion of children born outside of marriage and a rise in divorce rates have contributed to a three-fold increase in the proportion of children growing up in single-parent families since 1960. These changes have generated considerable public concern and controversy, particularly about the effects of these changes on the wellbeing of children. Over the past 20 years, a body of research has developed on how changes in patterns of family structure affect children.

Most researchers now agree that together these studies support the notion that, on average, children do best when raised by their two married, biological1 parents who have low-conflict relationships.[1]

I don’t think we can stress enough the importance of marriage for these young men, due to a number of economic, cultural, and selfish reasons marriage is not highly valued in our community. We should begin the process to change this phenomenon, because the statics concerning the chances of children growing up in poverty in single parent families is well documented. However, studies show that it is not just purely economics; there is something inherent in marriage that transcends to the family. It is what I call one of the mysteries of God, God has sanctified marriage and He continues to support marriage.

Also, if income was the major factor behind the negative association between single parenthood and child outcomes, one would expect children of single-parent families who are not poor to have better outcomes than children of poor single-parent families. However, a recent study in Sweden—where the safety net is stronger than in the U.S. and where the poverty rate among single mothers is very low— found problems for children of Swedish single-parent families similar to those found for children of American single-parent families.[2]

Two opposite sex staff members could fulfill the same purpose only to a lesser degree. They could demonstrate to the young men inter-gender relationship skills that a lot of our youth do not presently have. They would learn the value of respect for women and see them as more than faceless bodies gyrating on the television. Under no circumstances should it be an unmarried couple or staff members who are romantically involved, this would only reinforce behavior we hope to modify.

Within the homes, the young men should be given instruction in cleanliness, trustworthiness, and thriftiness. They should be taught in life skills and be required to take an active role in the chores of the house. They should be required not only to have scholastic studies, but also spiritual and historical studies of their ancestors. At all cost we must provide a stable and secure home for these young men, they should learn conflict resolution at an early age.

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[1] http://www.clasp.org/publications/Marriage_Brief3.pdf

[2] Ibid

Boys Town 2007

My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD;

neither be weary of his correction:

For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth;

even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

Proverbs 3:11-12

As more and more of our young men fall prey to violence and our young women continue to have children outside the covenant of God, we must begin to look at some radical ideas to change the direction we are headed. What I am about to propose will be seen by many as controversial and maybe inhumane, but I believe it will help to bring our people back to their rightful place as strong men and women of God.

As the rates of Black on Black homicides increase annually and murder has become the leading cause of death for our young Black men, these rates appear to correspond to the rise in single mother households. This is not an indictment against single mothers, it is an indictment against the men who are willing to create life, but do nothing to sustain that life once it is born. Despite everyone’s calm demeanor and political correctness we are in a crisis that demands our immediate attention and our action.

What I propose is that we create residences for our Black male children born to single mothers staffed by Black male educators and social scientist. These would be homes that they would reside in once they reached an age where they could be separated from their mothers. They would remain there for possibly 10 months out of the year being educated, prepared, and trained in what it takes to be a successful Black man. They would be given a regular scholastic curriculum bolstered with history of our people and continent. They would be separated from their mothers and from girls of the same age. I guarantee if we had the courage and the will to do this, in one generation we could turn the fortunes of our people around; in two we would be the most successful minorities in this country.

This all seems so drastic; why do we need to resort to these measures?

In regard to the subtitle of the book, single motherhood is what hurts insofar as it often deprives children of important economic, parental, and community resources. Most single-mother families have low incomes or, following a divorce or separation, experience sudden drops in income. According to McLanahan and Sandefur, low incomes and sudden drops in income are the most important reasons that children in single-mother families fare worse than other children. Indeed, these two account for about half of the disadvantage in high school graduation, and somewhat less of the disadvantage in other outcomes.

Another factor behind the disadvantages faced by children in single-mother families is inadequate attention and guidance from the mother. Children need more than just economic security to thrive; they require parents who have the time to help them with their homework, read to them, and listen to how their day went in school. They also need parents who can supervise their activities outside of school. One parent alone does not have the time to do these things, whereas two parents working together often do.

Finally, children who live in single-parent families lack the community resources that other children frequently have. They are more likely to live in disadvantaged neighborhoods and to associate with peers who have negative attitudes toward school. They are also more likely to change residences, which disrupts their lives even further, since it usually means going to a new school and losing contact with old friends.[1]

The issues outlined in the above quote are all issues that have led to our no longer being competitive in education, invention, and science. It isn’t that single mothers are not trying to be good parents; it is just that they have the deck stacked against them going in. Most have to work for minimum or low wages; they have to work long hours and shifts that are not conducive to raising children. It is not that single mothers do not love their sons, but we are loving them to death right now. Maybe it is time to discuss alternatives to what we have been doing in the past and what we want to accomplish in the future. Do we want to continue down the path we are on condemning our children to a future of poverty and the cycle of lawlessness? Aren’t our children worth more than that?

I have deliberately not included statics supporting or refuting the benefits of same sex schooling, I have learned that no matter what numbers I pull out, opponents can pull out an equal number disputing my numbers. But this isn’t about numbers; this is about the things our young men need that don’t appear on any sheet of paper or scholastic test. Our young men more than anything need to learn how to be men and they will not learn it from our women. No other culture expects their young men to be trained by women in how to be men. We are the only ones in the world who are doing this.

The time has come to put emotionalism and sentimentality away and think about for a change what is best for our children. It is a selfish thing to have kids you know you can’t support, to sentence them to a lifetime of struggle just to survive. God have mercy on us…

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[1] http://www.irp.wisc.edu/publications/focus/textver/16.2.a/impact.txt

Chapter 7 Part 2

Young Men

Now for the young men, I know that you are angry and that you have not received the guidance and legacy that you deserve. You did not ask to be brought into this fallen world with all of its injustice and seemingly endless obstacles or into this condition of fornication and sin. However, none the less you are here. For many of you the men who fathered you did not teach, lead, and guide you as they should have. Many of you may not even know who your fathers are or they refuse to have any contact with you. Some may not even acknowledge you as their sons, but it is not your fault. So often children can not understand or acknowledge that those who have been placed in a position to protect them sometimes fail. Therefore, many children blame themselves, which leads to self-hate, which in turn breeds self-destructive behavior. We put ourselves in positions of danger, because we feel as though no one cares anyway. There is one who cares and loves you and that is God. Though the world may disappoint you and everything appears to be against you, trust in Him who loves you. God has a special love for children, especially fatherless ones. The Bible says that in God the fatherless find mercy.[1] There are no words I can write to make right what has happened to many of you, but know this that God can and will heal you if you seek Him. He is the only One who can. If you continue down the road you are traveling on the results will be the penitentiary or death.

I remember for so much of my youth I thought if I just found the right woman, the right job, or the right amount of money I would be all right. What I have since learned is that it is not what is on the outside of me that brings me joy, but it is what or who is on the inside of me. What I needed on the inside was the Spirit of God living inside of my heart. There was a hole inside of me and no matter how much I tried to fill it with drugs, alcohol, money and every other manner of sin I could think of, nothing would fill it. That was because only one thing can fill it. God placed the hole there for a reason, only one thing can ever fill that void. That One is He who created you and the hole, God. Until we fill the hole with God nothing will ever satisfy us. The more you get the more you want. Have you ever noticed how no matter how much of anything we get it is never enough. I was never satisfied and neither will you be. All the money, cars, and women are passing they do not last. The pleasures of sin are only for a season.[2] The thing we must remember is that the game we are playing is a trap. The drug game looks like easy money, but look at the retirement plan. Most of the players end up locked up for a long time or dead.

“There is a way which seems right to a man,
but its ends are the ways of death.”
Proverbs 14:12

The things you desire seem like good things to pursue because they are constantly being displayed on television and in the movies. But think about it, what makes any of these people promoting these things any different from you? Nothing, they are being exalted by the world. The world loves its own. The “celebrities” are people who have given up certain things for their fame. When the fame fades they will be left with the consequences of their choices. This world is out to kill and destroy you. The ruler of this world is Satan, the devil. If you follow the world, you follow the devil. If your desires are the riches of this world, you desire the things of the devil. Do not make idols of the “celebrities” of this world; they are no more human or special than you are. Do not be misled they possess no power or anything greater than what you have. Seek after God; whose riches are not fleeting but eternal. Because you have chosen to go your own way and not chosen the way of the Lord, there are certain consequences. God gave us free will to choose our own path, but if we choose our own will then He allows the consequences to happen. Not to punish us, but to lead us back to Him. Because you have forgotten God and chosen to not believe, God has allowed certain things to happen.

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[1] Hosea 14:3

[2] Hebrews 11:25