Chapter 7 Part 1 Children

Chapter 7 Children

“Behold, children are a heritage of the LORD,
the fruit of the womb is a reward.”
Psalms 127:3

For me this is the most difficult chapter to write. As I look out at all the broken children and families that are in pain, my heart aches. Anyone who thinks there are no victims of fornication have obviously not spent time with the children of these illicit relationships. The Bible says that children are an inheritance of God, as a reward. They are to be treasured, they are our greatest resource. They are our future. Instead of treating them as the treasures they are, we treat them as inconveniences. How can we claim manhood when we father children we do not raise? Children we take no responsibility for. How can our women claim womanhood when they continue to bear illegitimate children without husbands? My heart goes out to all of the children. What lessons are they being taught? What values are they being taught? That it is ok to lay down with anybody and everybody with no responsibility or consequences. These consequences are human beings, they have names, and they are innocent children. When did a child become just something left over from some illicit relationship? Have we become so selfish that we can not see the damage we have done and continue to do? On the other hand, does anyone care? God gives us children to raise up for His glory and honor. We do not own them, they are given to us to take care of for Him. To train them and love them for His sake.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And
when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6

How are we training our children? Are we leading them in the way of everlasting life or into the way of destruction? Each one of us must ask ourselves these questions, God certainly will. We must recognize the harm being done to our boys and young men. We neglect their training. We are so concerned with our own personal gratification that their needs are secondary. Children come into this world full of curiosity and wonder. They come to us without sin. If it were not for our inherited sinful nature, they would be given to us in purity. If allowed to follow their own desires they like us will choose to follow the world. Thus, the need for parental direction and involvement, except when the parents themselves are pursuing the things of the world then that value system is conveyed to the child. Because many of our children have not received the training they should have been given, today they are lost in a fallen world. They do not have the male role model training we were supposed to give them. Because we have pursued our own agenda of selfishness and childish pleasures they have not gotten what they needed or deserved. Therefore, we have children raising other children. Some of our young women were raising their brothers and sisters and felt that they might as well have their own since they are being mothers anyway. We do not have to be geniuses to figure out how that has been working out.

“Children are the crown of old men, And the glory of their father.”
Proverbs 17:6

The scripture is so appropriate for today. The crown of old men it says, we as old men of the last few generations should be ashamed of the crown that we are wearing. Many of these young men and women have received none of the tools they need to compete in this world. They have received none of the wisdom of their ancestors and now have a very difficult time coping with the world they find themselves apart of. For many of them they want to hide from this world through drugs or street crime. Instead of planning how to succeed through education they have chosen the fast buck of crime and drug dealing. There have been many ancestral heroes who have died for the opportunities they now take for granted and refuse to pursue. These words though written thousands of years ago ring true today. The honor and the adoration of children is their father. This is not only true for our earthly fathers but also for our heavenly Father. Today many of our children are being raised without that honor and reverence. In God’s perfect plan for the family a child is to be reared by both a father and a mother. It is funny how we will break something like a doorknob and then use something such as a piece of rope to open the door and say see how well the door works since I fixed it. The door may be operational, but that is surely not how it was designed to work. Granted there are those who have managed to succeed raising children as single parents and I applaud them, but that does not change the fact that something is still broken. The doorknob is still broken, yes, we are getting in and out of the house but the fact still remains the doorknob is broken. Our relationships are broken is the issue not whether we can patch something together to keep moving forward. The issue is how can we repair them and save our children? The father’s relationship with the children has a different component than the mother’s relationship to the children. The father is supposed to represent the head of the house, the leader. In our broken households, the head is missing. Every good soldier knows that if you remove the head the body dies. Moreover, our body (our community) is dying right before our eyes. Many single mothers do and have done a tremendous job under very trying circumstances and they must be commended, but that does not excuse the fact that we are still in desperate need of a solution to the epidemic we are currently facing. In this patched up worldly system the child is missing the authority and discipline that is best administered from the man. You notice I said a man, not the little boys that make babies and do not raise them that so permeate our communities today. Any one blessed enough to have been raised in a two parent home can attest to this. Because so many of our people have not been given this example they tend to minimize the benefits of this experience. When I was growing up all the mother had to do was mention the name of the father and order was immediately restored. Let the fathers begin to act like fathers and discontinue to act like the children they should be raising.

Chapter 3 Part 2

2) Violation of God’s law

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship
with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants
to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”
James 4:4

The Bible says that those who practice sexual immorality are at war with God. Those who practice such are friends of the world, but not friends of God. God’s laws according to the Bible were given to serve two purposes. The first was to protect us from the world and from ourselves. The second reason was to drive us to Him. Because of God’s never ending love for us, He has always wanted the best for us. We believe that we know better than God what is best for us, but time and again, we choose the wrong thing. How many times do we say I have to have this thing or that person only to later regret choosing it. We do not know what is best for ourselves. God has the ability to know the future, to know what I am going to need and to provide it. In our modern society we have lost our fear of God. The psalmist’s tells us that there is no fear of God before their eyes. To violate God’s laws means nothing to us. However, the Bible tells us that God will not be mocked, whatever a man sows that he will also reap. God tells us that the guilty will not go unpunished. How long will we continue to ignore God’s laws? We ourselves cannot keep God’s laws. If it were possible, there would have been no reason for the death of Christ. However, when I surrender to God I am given the power to overcome sin. The Bible says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That means all things! That includes stopping our fornication and all other sins I may be committing. If God has the power to create the heavens and the earth and raise the dead, does He not also have the power to stop me from sinning? I do not have the power within myself to obey God’s laws. I never have and I never will on my own power. I must submit to God before I am able even to begin to overcome sin. I must get back under the authority of God.

3) Illegitimate children

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and
the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise
your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”

1 Corinthians 7:14

According to the Bible, children born out of wedlock are unclean. I know it sounds harsh, but that is what it says. For too long now we have been sugar coating the Word of God. It is time to get real and to get serious about God and His Word. Our future and our very souls depend on it. We are placing the shame of our sin on our children. It is amazing how we try to cover it up with these clever names: baby’s momma or baby’s daddy. No, you are both harlots! You are sinners and you need to repent today! It is even more amazing how so few of our “so called” religious leaders are speaking out on this epidemic. We should remove this obstacle and stop this now. We must break the cycle. It is only getting worse, as it always does. There is no reason why our young women are having multiple illegitimate children. What are we as parents, as a community, and as religious leaders doing to stem this problem? We should begin to ask ourselves some tough questions as a people. Why are we allowing this to go on unchecked? In addition, it is not just the impoverished, but young men and women with college degrees from middle class, upper middle class backgrounds. What does this say about us as a people? Where is our moral fiber? We have to do better. We can do better when we surrender our will to God’s will. Instead of treating these women as victims and martyrs, we need to acknowledge the fact of their sinfulness. If we continue to do what we know is sin, then we are practicing sin. Practicing sin is like practicing anything else, the more we practice the better we get. We all sin, but we all do not practice sin. Sin should not be something we want to get good at. Why do we practice anything? To get better at it of course. When I was a child and wanted to become a better basketball player, I would practice and eventually I got pretty good. So even a child knows what the purpose of practice is. Do I want to do that with sin?

Chapter 3 Part 1 Why Is Fornication So Bad?

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does
is outside the body, but he who commits sexual
immorality sins against his own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18

According to the bible fornication causes us to sin against ourselves, against our own bodies. It opens our bodies to the very nature of sin. It allows demons to use our bodies against themselves. It also brings the contamination of sin into our bodies; sexual sin opens our bodies up to the disease of sin like nothing else. It causes us to view our bodies with contempt, instead of the temples of God that they were created to be. When we are going against our own bodies this can only breed contempt. We are at war with ourselves. My own body is being used against me, against my will. The bible says that a house divided against itself will not stand. How can I stand for God when my body is divided against itself? The bible goes on to say that our bodies are no longer our own, they have been purchased for a price. They now belong to God. Of course in truth they were always God’s. My body houses the Holy Spirit of God.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you
have from God, and you are not your own.”
1 Corinthians 6:19

The apostle Paul goes on to state that our bodies are members of Christ and shall we join the members of Christ with a harlot? Certainly not! Are we to unite the Spirit of God to perversion? God forbid! Fornication reduces my status as a person in my own mind. I lose respect for myself, my body, and the other person when I fornicate. You profane the temple of the Holy Spirit. Your body becomes a toll against itself. Many times I have awaken in the morning laying next to someone I didn’t even know and felt perverted. What do I say to this person I do not know? It all felt so awkward on a deep spiritual level. Yet we just shared the most intimate moment two people can share according to God. There is something wrong here, my thinking is not right. We have taken something good and honorable and have turned it into something cheap and tawdry. There is no love without commitment. Without love, the sex act is just a common act between two beasts in the field. However, even the beasts of the field take care of their offspring. Animals after procreating, at least raise their young. Are our young any less important? God thinks not.

Let’s look at the cost of fornication on our people and society.
1) Loss of innocence and purity
2) Violation of God’s law
3) Illegitimate children
4) Guilt
5) Sexual diseases
6) Lack of respect
7) Deterioration of society
8) Violence
9) Loss of usefulness to God
10) Anger of the children

1) Loss of innocence and purity

“To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled
and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their minds and
a conscience are defiled.”
Titus 1:15

It is God’s plan that we come to our marriages pure in body and heart. In God’s healthy plan of marriage and relationships being pure is highly valued. According to the bible, any woman who married and was found not to be a virgin would be stoned. The woman is the vessel by which life comes into this world. How are things brought into this world? They are borne into it. In order for Jesus to be fully human, He had to be borne into this world, thus the need for Mary. Therefore, it is for all things. A woman’s body is one of her most precious gifts. Only a woman in natural sexual activity is penetrated, this gives the woman a very different perspective on the sexual act. For a man the act of sex is external due to his organs and thus his attitude towards sex reflects that. A woman due to her physical organs is usually more conservative concerning sexual matters than men. Women usually require an emotional connection for sexual activity. Because of the emotional nature of the sex act to a woman, it tends to have more meaning. Women tend to have more of an attachment to their partner than men do. I remember every female virgin I ever “deflowered” had a deeply emotional attachment unlike any other of the women I was with. In some cases, that attachment may even persist to this day. Losing that purity and innocence can have a lifetime effect for not only the woman, but also the man. We live in a society that only promotes the pleasure of sex without the commitment of love and marriage. Our moral standards have been compromised.

Chapter 2 Part 2

How many times have we seen movie stars, athletes, and other worldly entertainers leave the wives of their youths for the newest flavor of the month? We have to understand that our children see this unhealthy behavior and incorporate it for themselves. They think that it is ok to exchange women as if they were video games. The average marriage today lasts about seven years. That is of course out of those who even bother to get married. About fifty percent of all blacks from 24 – 44 are living in cohabitation arrangements and not marriage. Is it because marriage has changed? I don’t think so. It is because we have become a disposable society. If it is not making me happy, replace it. The bible talks often about joy and rarely about happiness. Why? Because happiness is a passing emotion. If I catch the light on my way to work I am happy, if I do not I am not happy. God says have joy, not happiness. Happiness is transient, but joy is eternal. In spite of our circumstances, we can have joy, not because of them.

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5

God wants us to have joy in His blessings not to pervert them.


“Therefore put to death your members which are on
the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion,
evil desires, and covetousness which is idolatry.”
Colossians 3:5

“..you shall not bow down to them nor serve them.
For I, the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and
forth generations of those who hate me.”
Exodus 20:5

The bible teaches that those who pursue idolatry (fornication) provoke God’s wrath because they are elevating something before God. God states over and over that He is a jealous God and will not tolerate anything that is placed before Him. We become preoccupied with our own selfish pleasure and ignore the long-term damage we do to ourselves. Idolatry may be strong language for some people, but we should look closely at what fornication says about those who practice it.

Today we are beginning to see the results of this epidemic of fornication. Instead of placing God’s laws and righteousness at the head of our lives, we have chosen our own selfish pleasure. This has created multiple victims from an act that is supposed to be victimless. How can this be you ask? Unfortunately, most practioners of fornication do not practice protected sex so we have an epidemic of new and more deadly strains of sexually transmitted diseases. We have an epidemic of illegitimate children. The term illegitimate is not even used anymore. We have replaced it with this new terminology of “baby’s momma” or “baby’s daddy. We treat illegitimacy as legitimacy. The bible says beware when you call evil good and good evil. I am not advocating ignoring or even punishing the fruit of these illicit relationships. I am saying love the sinner, but hate the sin. We should learn to hate sin the way God hates sin. He hated sin so much that only the sacrifice of His own Son could satisfy His disdain for sin. Today in our churches in an effort to keep or to gain members, we ignore this issue. Ministers do not speak out on it and so in keeping silent they are practicing sin by omission. Giving this lifestyle a green light. I have seen pastors having ceremonies to anoint these children. Again, we should love these innocent children, but acknowledge the wrong being done. Before forgiveness, is confession of sin. In most cases it is children having children. Everyone makes mistakes, but if I am a pastor with a congregation full of women that continue to have illegitimate children, maybe my message is not being made clear enough.