Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

I recently was a part of an online discussion about abortion. I felt limited in how I could respond because it was not my blog and I didn’t feel it my place to fill up someone else’s space. However, after posting my comments I felt as though I had not expressed all or how I wanted to in that space at that time. So, I thought I would use this forum to complete my feelings concerning this very divisive issue.

First of all I want to state my opposition to abortion. I believe that it goes against the teachings of God and is a sin. Where it stacks up among other sins I do not know, but I base my feelings on the following passage from scripture:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before
you were born I sanctified you;
Jeremiah 1:5

With that said, I believe that everyone has choices in this world and it is not for me to make those choices for others. I believe that when we stand before the judgment seat of Christ there will be no witnesses called. God will not ask me what I thought about your decisions; it will be each one of us alone before God. We all must search our own hearts in making decisions and there are few if any decisions that are as overwhelming for many women as the decision to have an abortion. It is a decision that has plagued many women for the rest of their lives. Even those who have gone on to have successful full term pregnancies afterwards are haunted by that faithful decision. I am not here to cast stones at anyone, for I am no one to judge another. My only hope and desire is that those in this position will find the support, love, and the wisdom to make the right decision.

I have lost two babies to abortions in my life that I know about. In each case it was a heart wrenching experience for my partners at the time and myself. In each situation I protested vehemently against having the abortion, but again each of us is responsible for our own decisions. The issue that I don’t think most women understand is how the abortion affects a lot of men. Of course for the most part unfortunately it is the man promoting the abortion for various selfish reasons, but there are many of us who deeply feel the lost of our unborn. Of course in both cases there were plenty of reasons for having the procedures; we’re too young, we aren’t established, we’re not ready, my career, and etc. It is in my nature to see both sides of an argument and it makes a lot of my decisions real torment; I go back and forth. Being the man of course limited my being able to offer anything more than an opinion, which was torture in itself. I would be reduced to a mere spectator in the decision on whether to keep my unborn child. Women, if you don’t know that was one of the most powerful feelings of powerlessness I have ever had. It was so difficult to be supportive and yet have feelings of anger, frustration, and fear.

Because of my beliefs, it was more than just the life of my unborn child that troubled my spirit. It was also the soul of my partner that caused me great alarm; I worried for their eternal life. It is amazing to me how we waxed so poetically about our love for one another, yet many of us care absolutely nothing about the eternal destination of our partners. If I truly love someone shouldn’t I want to protect their eternal life as much as I want to protect their physical life? If I could avoid placing them in positions that could jeopardize their souls by controlling my selfish desires, shouldn’t I want to do it? Do I love that person more than I love myself? I think so many of us err in our choices for partners because we don’t do the homework, we don’t ask the right the questions. Some don’t ask the right questions because they don’t want to hear the answer they are going to receive.

The women in each of these cases were “good” women. They were loving, kind, and considerate. They both in my opinion would have made excellent mothers. I don’t think that either took their responsibilities lightly or the dreadful decision that they would have to make. In each case the process of deciding was torment for both of us. It took us to the brink of terminating our relationship and back again. In each case the relationship was never repaired to its previous state. In both cases I lost not only the unborn, but my partners as well. In each case the lost was devastating.

The point I want to stress is that today I realize if we had remained in the state that God had intended for us, these decisions would not have been necessary to make. The attending loss of trust and intimacy would have not been necessary. There are those who will say, “Or you could have used a condom, but that is really not the answer. This is not the answer for me because it is merely treating the symptom and not the underlying cause. I know today that God’s plan is the best plan for my life; He gives me instructions not to punish me but to protect me. I can never articulate the pain and anguish that my partners and I suffered during these times, nor do I believe that any single mothers can articulate the struggle of her life trying to raise children alone. I know that raising children with two parents is a herculean endeavor. I see the hardship daily in the lives of all the single mothers I encounter. I have never met a woman yet who did not continue to be haunted by their decision years later to have an abortion. If we want to avoid the results, we must avoid the cause. We must remain pure at all costs.

To those who have had to struggle and make that dreadful decision my heart goes out to you, because I too am bruised and hurt. I want you to know that there is no condemnation at the cross, there is forgiveness and reconciliation. Come to the “Healer” and be healed, there is no sin so bad that it will not be forgiven. I first must ask for that forgiveness.

Chapter 9, Part 8

“Repent and turn away from all your transgressions, so
that iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you
all the transgressions which you have committed, and
get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.”
Ezekiel 18:30, 31

According to the scriptures in order for us to remain repentant we will need a new heart and a new spirit. Why is this necessary? Because our old hearts and spirits have been corrupted and perverted. Due to our worldliness, our love of this world’s pleasures, we are of no use to God. God cannot use us if we love the world or the things of the world.[1] Thank God that He loves us too much to leave us the way we are. One of the problems with the “easy gospel” is that the only thing we have to do to be reconciled with God is just to confess our sins, no change of heart is required. There is a difference between confession and repentance. Confession merely is an acknowledgment of what we have done, our sins. This is important but it is only half of the equation. One must go to the next step, which is repentance. We should go put away those transgressions, or sins. We can acknowledge we are fornicators all day long, but at some point we must begin to turn away from this behavior. Acknowledging our sin to God is like us acknowledging our image on a surveillance video. It is already known that this is us, we must take the next step and we can with the help of God. If the Spirit of the Living God is in you, you will change. We can delay it, but we cannot prevent it. God’s will; cannot be stopped. Our fighting against it only brings us more pain. God has a new life for us, as represented by the new heart and spirit, but for some unknown reason we want to continue living a powerless life.

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise
as some count slackness, but is longsuffering
towards us, not willing that any should perish
but that all should come to repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9

Our God loves us so much He would let us die in our sins, He wants to allow us every opportunity to put them away and come to Him. We should thank Him, not only those of us who are saved but also those who are unsaved. He is being so very patient with this sinful people as we continue to parade our fornicating ways in front of His Holy presence. However, the time is drawing near when He is going to come for His people. At this very day He is calling us to be holy, because He is holy.[2] I pray that we repent while there is still time. No one knows the hour of His coming, but the good servant will be ready whenever that day is.[3] If we are busy doing His will then it will not matter when He comes. Beware of those who come prophesying the exact time of His arrival they are not of Him. If we are not caught up in our sinfulness it will not matter what day it is we will be ready.

“Then God saw there works, that they turned
from their evil way; and God relented from the
disaster that He said He would bring upon them,
and He did not do it.”
Jonah 3:10

The city of Nineveh was a very sinful and rebellious place, some would say comparable to our current society. But when confronted with their sinfulness they repented by the grace of God. God was so moved by their change of heart that He allowed Himself to be changed. He did not do what He had said He would. The lesson for us today is that if we forsake our evil ways, God will restore us to our place of fellowship with Him. If we stop laying with anybody and everybody, God will forgive and forget. However, unlike the city of Nineveh we hear the call of God, the pronouncement of His condemnation of our fornicating ways and ignore Him. I wish I could stress enough the thought that the sin for us, is that we refuse to let God do what we know He can do. We refuse to let God change us. We will not use the power that God has given us to change.

If we repent of this evil and live in the spirit with God the societal ills that we suffer from will be healed. Our children will stop killing each other, the drugs will be removed from our streets, and we will be respected as a people. This is only a small partial list of things God is waiting and willing to do for us. Some would say that I am being too naive and oversimplifying the problems. That our problems are much more complicated than that. I say thank God that He has used simple things to confound the wise of this world.[4] Do not be fooled by the enemy into thinking that we are going to solve this by intelligence and common sense. All sin can only be defeated by the Spirit of God which dwells within all those who are true believers and followers of God. God is the only one who can heal this people. The question then becomes, do we want to be healed?

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[1] 1 John 2:15

[2] Leviticus 11:44

[3] Matthew 24:36

[4] Matthew 11:25

Chapter 6 Part 7

You were created to reflect the femininity of God as the man was created to reflect the masculinity of God. They are different sides to the same God. Do you know that you were also created in the image of God just as the man was? The woman was created to help the man take care of the earth. More importantly, you were created also to fellowship with God. You and the man were created from the same essence of God. The Spirit of God dwells in us both. The Spirit dwells in you to help the man to be fruitful and multiply in a Godly relationship. From the beginning of time it has been this way and will continue until the end. In God’s perfect design for us just as it was not good for the man to be alone so it is not good for the woman to be alone. Only men and women were designed to fellowship spiritually with God and with each other. That fellowship was broken by the “fall” in the Garden of Eden. Not only was the fellowship with God broken and damaged, but also the spiritual connection between man and woman. This damage persists to this day. We do not relate to each other the way God originally intended for us to.

Just as the command of God represented a choice to them in the Garden of Eden, so we have choices today. God could have created us to worship Him without choice, but that would not be true love. That would be like the animals worship God. The animals worship God by being what God created them to be, the fish worships God by being a fish. True love is when we can love anybody in the world but choose to love the person we are with. I can eat from the tree you commanded me not to eat from, but I choose to obey you. Thus, I demonstrate my love for you in the choices I make. Christ Jesus told us, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”[1] So love requires action on our part. If we profess love for God we are required to keep His commandments. There are no loopholes. I remember being in church and seeing the same men and women every Sunday taking the altar call to repent or rededicate themselves. There should come a time in the life of a believer when his life begins to manifest the life of Christ. Some would say these are backsliders. I would venture to say that you cannot backslide until you have truly repented and been saved. We cannot continue to commit the same sins weekly or daily and claim salvation. True salvation requires, no demands a change in our lives. God loves me too much to leave me the same way He found me. It becomes a matter of my choices. Am I choosing obedience to God or obedience to Satan? Christ Jesus says, “Whoever commits sin is a slave to sin.”[2] A slave means that sin is my master and has control of me. A slave loses control of his life and all that entails when he becomes a slave. We of ourselves can do nothing against this addiction to sexual immorality. In the final chapter we will discuss the ways to break this cycle and begin to stop this epidemic.

When it comes to making choices, we demonstrate our love based on our choices. We demonstrate our love to our wives and husbands not because we cannot commit adultery, but by choosing not to. By choosing the love of our mate over the momentary urge to satisfy our selfish desires we show our love. We may say we love someone or something, but it is our choices that reveal our true feelings. Love requires sacrifice, when we decide that we love someone we make a conscious decision to be with that person, forsaking all others. By our being with our mates we are choosing not to be with anyone else, there in lies the sacrifice. For many today they want the relationship, but without the sacrifice. The choices give love meaning. If I can continue to be with others and still be with you where is the sacrifice and the choice. Without choices there is no meaning to love. You can make someone do what you want them to do, but you cannot make someone love you. Sometimes we don’t even know why we love what or who we love, we just know we do. Our choices in this life say much about who we truly are, not who we claim to be. The key to many of the bad choices we make is a spirit of rebelliousness. The world calls it independence, but it is rebelliousness to God. Anything I do independent of God is a sin, no matter how noble it may be. We are saying we know better than God what is best for us. I know better than my parents what is best for me. If you choose to harm yourself this is probably not a rational or sane decision. If you are making these choices it is probably not you who is making them but the sin that dwells in you. Normal people usually do not make decisions that they know will lead to harm for themselves. Choosing to have sex as a young teen is a harmful choice, it can and usually does lead to pregnancy. An unwanted pregnancy has “harmed” a large number of young women and men. Any woman who is not married at any age choosing to engage in sexual activities is making a harmful choice. The harm is not only the possibility of pregnancy and sexual disease, but also the harm that the sin does to the spirit and the fellowship with God.

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[1] 1 John 14:15

[2] John 8:34

Chapter 3 Part 1 Why Is Fornication So Bad?

“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does
is outside the body, but he who commits sexual
immorality sins against his own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18

According to the bible fornication causes us to sin against ourselves, against our own bodies. It opens our bodies to the very nature of sin. It allows demons to use our bodies against themselves. It also brings the contamination of sin into our bodies; sexual sin opens our bodies up to the disease of sin like nothing else. It causes us to view our bodies with contempt, instead of the temples of God that they were created to be. When we are going against our own bodies this can only breed contempt. We are at war with ourselves. My own body is being used against me, against my will. The bible says that a house divided against itself will not stand. How can I stand for God when my body is divided against itself? The bible goes on to say that our bodies are no longer our own, they have been purchased for a price. They now belong to God. Of course in truth they were always God’s. My body houses the Holy Spirit of God.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you
have from God, and you are not your own.”
1 Corinthians 6:19

The apostle Paul goes on to state that our bodies are members of Christ and shall we join the members of Christ with a harlot? Certainly not! Are we to unite the Spirit of God to perversion? God forbid! Fornication reduces my status as a person in my own mind. I lose respect for myself, my body, and the other person when I fornicate. You profane the temple of the Holy Spirit. Your body becomes a toll against itself. Many times I have awaken in the morning laying next to someone I didn’t even know and felt perverted. What do I say to this person I do not know? It all felt so awkward on a deep spiritual level. Yet we just shared the most intimate moment two people can share according to God. There is something wrong here, my thinking is not right. We have taken something good and honorable and have turned it into something cheap and tawdry. There is no love without commitment. Without love, the sex act is just a common act between two beasts in the field. However, even the beasts of the field take care of their offspring. Animals after procreating, at least raise their young. Are our young any less important? God thinks not.

Let’s look at the cost of fornication on our people and society.
1) Loss of innocence and purity
2) Violation of God’s law
3) Illegitimate children
4) Guilt
5) Sexual diseases
6) Lack of respect
7) Deterioration of society
8) Violence
9) Loss of usefulness to God
10) Anger of the children

1) Loss of innocence and purity

“To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled
and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their minds and
a conscience are defiled.”
Titus 1:15

It is God’s plan that we come to our marriages pure in body and heart. In God’s healthy plan of marriage and relationships being pure is highly valued. According to the bible, any woman who married and was found not to be a virgin would be stoned. The woman is the vessel by which life comes into this world. How are things brought into this world? They are borne into it. In order for Jesus to be fully human, He had to be borne into this world, thus the need for Mary. Therefore, it is for all things. A woman’s body is one of her most precious gifts. Only a woman in natural sexual activity is penetrated, this gives the woman a very different perspective on the sexual act. For a man the act of sex is external due to his organs and thus his attitude towards sex reflects that. A woman due to her physical organs is usually more conservative concerning sexual matters than men. Women usually require an emotional connection for sexual activity. Because of the emotional nature of the sex act to a woman, it tends to have more meaning. Women tend to have more of an attachment to their partner than men do. I remember every female virgin I ever “deflowered” had a deeply emotional attachment unlike any other of the women I was with. In some cases, that attachment may even persist to this day. Losing that purity and innocence can have a lifetime effect for not only the woman, but also the man. We live in a society that only promotes the pleasure of sex without the commitment of love and marriage. Our moral standards have been compromised.